Sincerely, Mike

FEBRUARY 27 2012 (LATER)

FEBRUARY 27 2012 (LATER)

Dear Billie,

You know I've really tried to remain as optimistic as possible for the past month and a half. Granted, that's damn near impossible considering the situation, but I had really been trying.

Until tonight.

Tonight, I finally opened my eyes to see the dark reality of all this.

And I'm not gonna sugar coat it anymore.

Shit really has hit the fan back home, Billie. As if I needed another example of the fact that you're not in any way as worthless as you think yourself to be, everything has legitimately gone to hell after merely a month without you in our lives.

Spazzy is a wreck. Tré is on the verge of losing his mind and probably hates me now. White is always sick nowadays, and something about him just seems off, like an animal with a nervous tick that you can't explain. Freese's appearances are scant, and Jeff has just about disappeared off the face of the planet.

And as for me, well...

I'm a guilty, confused, hollowed-out shell of my former self that's drowning in a sea of emotions I didn't even know existed.

Everything we've spent the past twenty-odd years building up has just about collapsed and exploded in our faces in a fiery mass.

Considering this all, I have to do the gut-wrenching deed of asking: where, if anywhere, do we go from here, Billie?

It seems to me as if everything around me is just broken beyond repair. I feel like the rift that's opened between all of us has widened so much it can't even be mapped anymore. Although they may not see it this way, I tried to hold everyone together, I really did; I really did try with every last shred of my sanity to be the steady ground shaking men could stand upon, but that just proved to be utterly impossible.

Now every effort I've made to remain strong for the good of myself, the others, and you, has slipped through my fingers like sand, proving meaningless.

I don't know what's going to happen to Green Day, buddy. And in complete honesty, I'm starting to wonder if there's really even a point in trying to catch the rain like this anymore.

A lot of shit has gone down today, and although I'm currently unsure of just about everything in my life right now as it all continues on in its downward spiral towards chaos, I'm sure of the fact that I'm done pretending that everything between us all is as it should be.

Because it's not.

And it hasn't been for a while.

And even though I have not even a shred of an idea of what's going on or what's going to happen next, I need you to promise me, Billie, regardless of all the superfluous terms and conditions, that when this shitshow ends- dear God if it ever ends at all- You'll somehow find it in that golden heart of yours to forgive us for destroying each other and the group that's become to me more like family than anything else.

Because really, at this point, that's all I want.

I didn't mean for this to dispel any sense of hope you may have had. I know that staying hopeful in your position is almost something absolutely ridiculous to ask of you. But things really are bad around here, and I think it would be wrong for me not to tell you so.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,
Mike

P.S.: please excuse the fact that this letter is three coffee-stained napkins stapled together. I'm stuck at a diner for the time being and didn't really have any other viable alternatives.

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A/N: yes, this was short, but necessary. I promise that the coming chapters are packed with more than enough action and sadness to make up for it. Anyway, just wanted to thank you all for all the kind words on the last chapter. I genuinely appreciate them and the following this story has gained. Much love.
~Jay