Sincerely, Mike

10: Sordid Histories

In the few days that had passed since he had received the horrifying news, Mike had seen just about everything except any reason not to continue on with his usual habit of isolated sulking.

And in his isolated depressive mania, Mike had taken a considerable amount of time to analyze the issue and its potential outcomes from several angles.

The first outcome was both the most obvious and the most- as much as Mike hated to admit it- likely; simply put, if things continued on in the same dark direction they seemed to be headed, Billie's life would be over in a matter of days, truncated by a gross sort of apathy and disregard for the dignity of life.

Thinking slightly more idealistically, Mike had considered perhaps making a lawsuit out of the whole ordeal, as he highly doubted that the threat these sorry excuses for medical specialists had made was even legal, but upon further consideration, had talked himself out of it upon the unlikelihood of himself winning the case before the so-called medically-prescribed "expiration date" and the fact that the hassle of the case would have little to no actual effect on Billie himself.

Granted, had Mike's legal team won the hypothetical case, Billie would have, theoretically, been able to remain dependent on the life-support machine for a certain amount of time longer, but- realistically speaking- would very likely die anyway, making the fuss and ordeal of a court case essentially irrelevant to his now seemingly unattainable goal of keeping his friend alive somehow.

But as hard as he tried to force into his mind the concept of accepting his friend's scarily imminent death, he simply could not eschew one last, nagging possible outcome from his sickened mind: the very slight possibility of the stars somehow magically aligning and Billie waking up, therefore ending the possibility of having his apathetic caretakers deliberately terminate his life.

But even hopeful as he was- or at least tried to be- Mike knew that was about as likely to happen as a pig taking flight.

As far as Mike was concerned, death was, ever as before, the inescapable and fast-approaching final chapter of Billie's fate.

This realization, in combination with the continuation of his sordid isolation, delivered unto him a feeling of helplessness, uselessness, and utter entrapment unlike any other he had felt since this whole ordeal had begun.

Unable to cope and unwilling to face the world, he had continued holing himself up in a dark room with nothing but his raw emotions and bitter self-hatred, spending far too much time in his own head, driving himself further down the road of insanity and rapidly developing a frightening sense of chronophobia as the days continued on their somber march to what sadistic monsters had determined to be the end of a life that held so much more importance than any of them seemed to perceive.

Unwilling to see her husband acting like an asylum discharge any longer, Britt had finally put her foot down and forced him to seek psychiatric assistance, scheduling for him appointments with a therapist on a daily basis.

Doubting highly that sharing his feelings with a stranger who would never understand his issue would help and more than unwilling to try, Mike had given his fair share of protest, but upon the borderline enraged reaction his wife had to his vehement outcry, he decided it best to at least pretend he was going to see the shrink for the sake of his marriage.

Today had been a day no different from the last three. When Brittney came into his room and dragged him out of bed, blabbing on and on about how crucial this was to maintaining the sanity she seemed so blissfully unaware of the fact that he had already long since lost and had no chance of ever regaining, he had wordlessly obliged, getting dressed and fixing himself accordingly. He had kissed her goodbye without an ounce of protest and then hopped into his car, waving to her in forced joviality as he backed out and drove off in the direction of the doctor's office.