Last Hope {a paramore fanfiction}

Chapter Twelve

20th January

It had been over a week. In that whole time I decided to pack up all my belongings; my clothes, shoes, little bits of furniture, jewellery CDs, vinyls and books. I distracted myself, deciding to get new wardrobes and shelving storage, so I needed to pack up everything in preparation.I hadn't said one word to Taylor during the whole week. And heartbreakingly enough, he hadn't said one to me. It was odd. I thought back to the 5th, when I left the studio in a fit and he spent a night and day trying to get through to me. And now, not one word. But then I realised how selfish I was. If I wanted to talk to Taylor, to patch things up, I needed to grow a pair.

Why was I annoyed with him? He just wanted to look after me and see that I would be okay and that Sam would be put where he belongs. It was horrible of me to even suggest the idea he'd ever hit me.

Oh god, this man. This Taylor York man. He'd come into my life and rather then turn it upside down, he made me realise how fucked up it already was.

Before I had noticed it, I had called Taylor and was listening to the beep beep. Waiting for him to pick up. He either would reject my call straight away or not pick up at all, spare me the embarrassment. It felt like I had been on the phone for 10 minutes.

The tone stopped. Shit. He didn't want to talk. Fuck. Why did you fuck this up Bethan? As I pulled the phone from my ear, I realised that the call was still in progress. What? Taylor had picked up?

I held the phone to my ear, and heard someone take a deep breath on the other end, before stuttering. It was Taylor and he had picked up. But he had no words. Every time I had seen him, he had managed to make words flow off his tongue like magic. He knew exactly what to say and when to say it. But now, he didn't. And in that moment, I didn't either, but I knew I had to buck up and be the one to say anything.

"Taylor." Good start Bethan, wow gold star. I'm pretty sure he knows his fucking name. "Taylor," I said again, quickly pushing out another thought about how I'd already said his name twice. "I...I just wanted you to know-." "Can we talk in person? Can you come to my place and we can talk about it here?" Taylor said suddenly. "..yes-yeah sure!" I said, caught slightly off guard. "I'll text you the address," he said and was off the phone before I could even breath the first syllable of goodbye.

Before my thoughts could get around to what Taylor might have to say, a got a text from him, the address. As I read it, I noticed the messages from the past few weeks. I read through them, laughing at the jokes we'd had and the smiling over passionate music debates.

From the packed boxes I pulled out and put on my black, high waisted jeans and tucked a white, button up shirt into them. I pulled on my oversized denim jacket, slip on vans, and pulled my hair into a pony tail. I placed all the boxes I had onto the double bed, before grabbing my phone and car keys and walking through the basically empty apartment.

As I started up the car, I had no idea what I was really going to say to him. Taylor and me were an odd problem. In all honesty we didn't know each other greatly. But in a the space of over 20 days we'd gone through so much drama and happy moments, it's as if we had been friends for a lifetime. A lifetime with Taylor York. I felt myself smile and sigh as I waited for the lights to change. Wait what? Why was I thinking about something like spending my life with Taylor? What Bethan? Just stop.

I cautiously drove down Taylor's road, peering out of the window to see what numbers were on the doors. Thank god I wore my glasses. My breathing was unnatural and slow as I tried to calm myself. I was the first time I'd been to his house and I was nervous. I realised I came to the right place when I saw Taylor's car and a two gnomes at the bottom of his front lawn. I laughed to myself about memories of fans giving those little guys to him when we were on tour.

I stood at my car and looked forward. Wow. Quite a nice place. It was a bungalow style house; just one floor by the looks of it but spread out a bit. It was grey stone and quite modern looking, but not that kind of annoying space age style. A modern yet classic twist. Bethan, why are you analysing this house? It's not like you're moving in.

I knocked on the door twice. My heart felt it was going to jump out of my chest and bang the door down too. My thoughts made me forget the time. Wow, I'd been out here for a bit. Maybe he wasn't in? "This was stupid. This was all so silly," I thought as I began to walk away. "Bethan?"

The one name I always hated. Always linked to someone that I knew was no good. That got a second chance at life but fucked it up. That let herself be pushed around and treated like shit when there was no reason for it. I hated that name. The association to it. But when he said my name...it sounded melodic. It reminded me of the strength I had. How I was in a kick ass band. That no matter how many times I nearly ended it all, that I'm still alive. That I wrote an amazing song for an amazing band. That I'm almost free of that man that kept me prisoner. That someone cares about me. A lot.

I turned around to see Taylor York.

And I ran to him.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and let my body just thud against his. I squeezed him as hard as I could, never wanting to let him to. I couldn't lose Taylor. I couldn't let my words or actions ever effect our relationship again. What was amazing about this hug was that instantly Taylor did the same to me. His arms held me and held me tight. In that instant, I knew he kind of needed me too. That we were in each others lives, no matter what.

"I'm sorry again," I said to Taylor as I sat on his couch. He walked over from his kitchen with two glasses of milk and a plate of cookies balanced on one. "Quite the hostess," I laughed. "Well, I try my best," he said, and did a curtsey as he placed the glasses and plate on the table. "You're nothing like him Taylor... I don't know why I said it. I was just scared and shaken up. You're...you're right. He needs to have some justice brought to him. But..but right now I've never had so much fun in life after the past few years of terribleness...and I want to keep that positivity going...I..don't know what's going to happen next...but I know since Paramore came back into my life..since you did...it's been a whole lot better," I said.

"Bethan...it's okay..I'm just worried. But I'm going to make sure you're safe okay? We won't get the police involved..for now. But you'll be okay, okay? And we'll be okay." He slowly put his hand on mine. Suddenly my body was set alight with electricity. We looked up at each other. Shocked a little. And it was odd. What did we do next? How did we move on? How did we avoid Taylor's action? Or did we act on it? We were thinking the thoughts together. We ignored it.

"You don't have to be sorry, okay? It wasn't fair for me to put you in that situation. But, we're gonna move on. We're okay, okay?" He said. I nodded and kept back tears of pure emotion and joy. Taylor's arms wrapped around me again. "Why don't we go out for some food?" He said. I nodded and stood up. "Oh shit," I said. "What is it?" Taylor asked, standing up behind me. "I didn't bring my purse or money. Can we drop by my apartment? I'll leave my car there as well, and then we can drive wherever in yours?" I asked. "Can you come up with plans in under 30 seconds? Wow," he laughed. I pouted. His hands found my waist, and he started to walk behind me, forcing me to walk. I tried to stay planted but he was too strong for me. I opened the door and he tickled me. I giggled and ran to my car. "I'll see you there," I called back to him as he locked his door.

I drove into the apartment complex car park and parked the car. Some of my neighbours were downstairs in the lobby. A lot. Taylor came up behind me. "What's up?" He asked looking confused. "Really...i don't know," I said. They all seemed pretty pissed. We walked up the stairs to my floor.

"What the hell?" I said, seeing the boxes of my stuff I had packed away out in the hallway. "Is that your stuff? Looks like you're moving out?" Laughed Taylor and I joined him with a slight giggle. "Noo, I was getting new shelving units and things like that so I needed to put everything away so that I-..." I didn't finished the sentence. A slight puddle was coming from under my door. "Huh?" I said and out the key into the door. The door opened to my apartment. Well, my flooded apartment.