Last Hope {a paramore fanfiction}

Chapther Thirty Five

SFC*
*song for chapter
We Are The In Kids- "Come Back Home"

"I can't believe that this place is still here!" laughed Michael. After a short walk, we had arrived at The Halfpipe Hangout- the cafe near our old studio we would visit almost daily. "I stumbled over it the other day, I couldn't believe it either." We walked in through the door, the nostalgia returning once again. I could see it in Michaels eyes, the memories this place must of brought back, the same thing happening to me. Blink played across the speakers, as at the back a group of teens were fixing up the decks on their boards. "And what can I get for you?"

I turned towards the voice and recognised who it was immediately. "Big Steve!" I said. "Bethan! Michael!" Big Steve was the owner of The Halfpipe Hangout and someone that I hadn't seen in years, even when i visited the other day. He walked around of the counter and it was noticeable that Big Steve wasn't so big anymore. "Woah dude!" Michael said. Trust me, he wasn't any Greek Adonis, but Big Steve truly once was BIG. He was now just slightly overweight and looked great. "You guys haven't changed too much, still look like the teens that came into here all those years ago." "Trust me, there's been change," I laughed. "All good I hope!" My smile faded, and I felt Michaels stare born into the side of my face. "Well, you're lucky that I'm great at remembering people's favourites. One espresso and one O'Connor." "The O'Connor?" Michael laughed. "You know her, she drank this smoothie so much, it was like she had a share in the prices, we couldn't not give her some recognition of thanks."

We sat down quietly at the back of the cafe, in the cove like area. The conversations we were about to have weren't ones we probably would want random people to hear. "It's all a bit surreal, isn't it?" Michael said. I twiddled with my thumbs. "That's one word." He chuckled. "So, how have you been?" I asked. "Good, man, super good. I've got a great place here in LA, and I've been working as a producer on some up and coming, kind of indie bands. Also, urm, I'm in quite a serious relationship." "Woah! Michael! I'm so happy for you! Whose the lucky gal?" I asked. "Susan," he replied and blushed. "Susan?!" I said a smile, across my face. Susan had started to date Michael on the Paramore tour back in 2010. I remember him being upset on the bus, not being able to see her, worried she'd loose interest. Obviously not.

"I'm so happy for you!" I said and meant it completely. "So how are you? Are you....are you still with-" "That ended. But it didn't end soon enough. And I'm happy now. I'm so happy now." I meant that completely. I took another drink. "Wait a minute, what's that?" said Michael.

I realised he was motioning towards my tattoo on my arm. "What does it say? Can I look?" I held my arm out towards him. "It's just a spark...but it's enough...to keep me going. That's really nice Bethan, where's it from?" "Well, I've been working on some music as well I guess you could say. Taylor from Paramore called me up on New Year's Day and wondered if I was interested in doing some music for the new album. So I helped on one track that was mainly 8 minutes of heavy guitar with some of Hayley's lyrics and well, my own song, called "Last Hope." And that's where the tattoo is from." Michael looked at me with a small smile. "I should of known that was something you wrote. So truthful." I blushed. "I remember whenever you wrote songs it was like being with you in a whole other world." "Thanks Michael....and sorry. Sorry for everything, sorry for everything, I'm so sorry, I'm the biggest fuck up there is, who throws away the best friends in the world and an amazing band because...because they were stupid enough to believe what other people said. That I wouldn't get hooked. And that I'd be safe. And that I deserved it."

Michaels hand reached over the table to touch my elbow and I jumped slightly. "Bethan...did Sam-" "Alright! Another smoothie and espresso shot for you guys on the house!" said big Steve, who suddenly had come over to the table. I wasn't ready to tell Michael and thank God for Steves sudden input. "Oh my god!" said someone behind Steve. The group of teenagers who had been working on their skateboards had looked over to us, all in awe. "Bethan AND Michael!" another person said. "Can we get a picture?!"

We walked around the plaza area, talking and laughing like we used to. "I can't believe those people recognised us," he laughed. "A couple of weeks ago, me and Hayley were having dinner at a rib shack and some girls came up to us, and one of them had the lyrics from "The Ocean" on her arm, it was surreal," I said, feeling the taste of the bittersweet memory in my mouth. "It's crazy isn't it? And I'm guessing you've seen all the fan pages that still run," Michael said, taking a sip of his drink. "Yeah, on Instagram and some on Twitter." "Tumblr is the place to look if you want a stab in the heart," Michael said. "What do you mean?" I laughed. "I mean, I checked it out a few days ago, and the memories that came with the pictures like...woah," he laughed. "I can imagine," I said. We both fell silent.

I needed something to break the resealed ice. "Hey, do you wanna come back to mine for a bit? I wanna show you some things," I said. "Yeah sure."

I awkwardly locked the door behind us and turned to see Michael standing in my living room, hand in pocket, not sure of his surroundings. He was like Taylor, a typical guitarist who had no idea what they were doing with themselves in the most basic of social situations but give them a guitar and they're a rockstar, who fly across the stage.

"Sorry, it's a bit bare, I threw everything out when-" I stopped myself from finishing the sentence and uncovering the most horrible memories I had from not long ago. "Can I get you a drink?" I said. "Nah, I'm good." "Okay. Urm. Sit there," I said motioning to the sofa,"while I go and get what I wanted to show you."

I came back in with my laptop and sat down next to Michael. "So, like I said I have been doing some stuff with Paramore...you don't have to, but if you want, you could listen to it?" I said. "I'd love to!" I blushed to see him so enthusiastic about what I had been up to.

I played him future. "This is sick. And this was all from a jam session? It's crazy good." "Yeah, I just helped with the music on that one, but this is the one I'm really proud of." I clicked on the demo file for 'Last Hope.'

It was 5 minutes of just the song playing. Half way through Michael sat forward resting his elbows on his knees and clasping his hand. I felt my hands becoming increasingly sweaty and fidgety. I felt as if I had gotten comfortable with Michael again too quickly, shared too much with him.

Hayley's voice faded, as I shut my laptop and put it next to me and now the room was silent. "So..." I said in a questioning tone. "All I can say is....I wish you'd written that for Please Clarify." He looked over at me and smiled. I lunged at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him as tight as I could. I could feel my chest heaving and I knew if I kept hugging Michael I would be a blubbering mess in seconds. I pulled away and laughed off the tears.

"Yeah, I wish I had too. Well, it came from a dark place...I place I never want to go back to again." Michaels hand reached over and touched my arm. "Bethan, did Sam-" My phone buzzed loudly, shocking us both. I picked it, thankful someone had saved me from this moment. Of course, my hero was Taylor. It was always Taylor.

T-Tay
Hey! Sorry, rehearsal all day. Killing me but worth it :-) hope today went well, wanna catch a movie tonight? X

Me
Just with him now, going well hehe! Yeah I'd love to, I'll drive. See you at 7?

T-Tay
Can't wait!!!!!

"Sorry, my bo-...my friend texted me," I said, blushing a crimson red. "Your boyfriend?!" Michael said and poked me in my ribs laughing. "You're such a child!" I laughed as he tickled me. "So, whose the lucky guy?" He teased. "Well, urm..." I was fine with telling Michael. At the same time, we hadn't told anyone in the band yet. Me and Taylor promised to keep it under wraps for now. If I told Michael now, it wouldn't be right. "Don't worry, I get it," he laughed.

After another half an hour of laughing and drinking some soda, Michael had to leave. It felt just like old times. "So you have my number. And seriously Bethan, text me." "I promise I will!" "Still got the trusty old six string I see?" Michael said, motioning towards my guitar in its stand near the door. "Trust me, that things going no where even if I wanted it to," I laughed. "We should jam sometime," he said. "Yeah, we should." I was struck with fear for a second. "Michael...this doesn't mean the band is back on." He paused. "I know, I know," he said. "Not for now...I'm just not in the right place." "Bethan it's cool. We don't have to be bandmates. But we can't help being band mates."

We hugged and he left and all I could think about were the times in each song we'd perform where I'd go up to him as he played his solo and I hyped the crowd. Some of the best moments of my life.