Last Hope {a paramore fanfiction}

Chapter Three

I didn't have a clue about what Taylor wanted. When he said it was out of the blue, it was more like being hit by a car shocking. "Please Clarify" was the support act for the Brand New Eyes tour. I'd even helped them write a few tracks on the album. It was the tour the band had before Josh and Zac left. I remember how awkward it was after some shows. Josh would always pick fights with Hayley and everyone would be put into a bad mood from the tense atmosphere. But I remember loving that tour, and getting on really well with Zac and Taylor. Especially Taylor. We had a lot in common, one of the biggest shared traits being that we both had the same birthday, 17th December 1989.

But after the tour, I went into my downward spiral. Paramore didn't keep in touch. Well, they did, I just ignored them. They were going through pretty bad shit. I remember the day they announced the split, and I did feel bad for them. That was saying something, seeing as I couldn't feel too much of anything at the time. When my issues came out into the music world, they tried to distance themselves as much as possible. Well, from what I thought. It mustn't of been the case if their guitar player wanted to talk.

Wait, was I actually going? What was the point? Whatever it could be for mustn't be amazing? But then I ignored those thoughts going through my head. I wanted to see Taylor. Something was making me want to see him.

I didn't shower, scared to feel the way I had the night before. I stared at myself in the mirror. I had no breakouts on my skin, but the dark rims from sleepless nights under my eyes stood out. I concealed them quickly, as if they would vanish all together. That's the thing I had against makeup. As soon as it was gone, you'd be disappointed with the way you actually looked. But, I wanted to look nice today. If I looked nice, hopefully I would feel that way to.

After blushing my checks and putting on some mascara, I moved on to my hair. I'm glad I had washed it the night before. My hair is a fiery ginger, not like Hayley's. Mine had been this way since day one, and came with all the teasing and jokes. It was curly and and just passed my shoulders. I'm short, five foot three. I'd always been compared to Hayley. It was the hair and height and the fact our music genre was the same. We had been in the music spotlight at the same time, but she was the one who didn't become a crazy crackhead. We didn't look similar in reality.

I pulled on a pair of high waisted black jeans. It was what I wore most of the time. Now I paced around the apartment wondering what else to wear. I pulled them off quickly and changed them for some plain blue denim skinny jeans. After that I put on a white t-shirt and red and black flannel shirt, open. It was casual and comfy. I saw that it was 20 to 4, so I pulled on a pair of black vans and my leather jacket. I carried my keys, phone and wallet. There was no need to bring a bag.

I sat in my car, waiting to turn the ignition on. I don't know what I was waiting for. I was on the verge of deciding not to go, calling Taylor to say sorry and never hearing from him again. I mean, did I really want to go?

Yes, I did. I drove along the empty streets, a nice surprise from LA traffic. I then realised it was New Year's Day. Most people would be at home. This made me wonder why Taylor was out and about and willing to meet me. Correction; wanting to meet me.

I parked my car a few blocks away from Gino's. As I walked along the pavement, I started to get a funny feeling; was this really a good idea? Fuck it, go for it Bethan, I thought.

I sat down outside the coffee shop. Even though it was LA, it was January and there was a slight chill in the air. I ignored this. I wanted Taylor to see me quickly, and not in front of the other people inside. My life was full of bullshit already, I didn't need to add awkwardness to it.

I fidgeted, and sighed. I was early. Which meant I had time to think. In other words, to overthink. "Why am I here?" "What the hell does he even want?" These thoughts rushed through my head. I stood up from my chair. I wasn't going to do this, this was stupid.

"Bethan?" I turned around and I my heart stopped. It was Taylor. Different this time round. He'd grown. A full beard. He was taller and had filled out. He was wearing skinny jeans and denim jacket, with trusty, black vans. His curly hair was flattened a bit, compared to the last time I saw him. He was...gorgeous. I forgot where I was and that I wasn't int my dream world. "...Hey," he said, snapping out of his thoughts to. "Hey Taylor," I said. He walked closer to me, and it took me a minute 'to realise that he was waiting for me to give him permission to hug me. I closed the space and his arms wrapped around me.

As soon as his arms engulfed me, my blood started to pump around my body. I felt light headed but also as if I could fly to Jupiter and back. The hug finished and I felt empty again. He sat down on the opposite side of the table.

"You look..amazing," he said, blushing. I breathed in, my stomach filling up with a tingly feeling. It was amazing for someone to compliment me. At the same time, it was heartbreaking for him to not know what I was feeling. "Thank you, you do to. I mean, I haven't heard much from Paramore in the news...not that you're not popular..I mean, like, you guys have been quiet...I was sorry to hear about Josh and Zac...but I was in a bit of a mess," I said, nervously laughing. Taylor looked at me and smiled. A genuine smile. One that showed sympathy but wasn't patronising.

"It's okay. It was meant to happen...me and Zac are still great friends so it's okay. And speaking of Paramore not being around, that's why I wanted to talk to you..." He said. A waitress came over. "Urm, just a white Americano," Taylor asked. "Could I have an iced latte please?" I said.

"So," he began,"we've been working on a new album. And it's taken us a long time. Josh and Hayley used to write together, and now that he was gone, I was her new writing partner. It was hard at first, and we've spent something like 2 years trying to make this album amazing. We've got 15 tracks, but I feel like something really important is missing. We've got songs about love, about maturing and getting over the split...but I feel as if we're missing something," he said. I took a sip of my latte. "Okay...I'm following, but I still don't understand why you wanted to meet today..." I asked, curiously.

When I said this, his smile spread across his face. It was so damn cute. "Well, I was listening to Brand New Eyes a while back, and to "Misguided ghosts." I remembered that you'd written this with Josh and Hayley. It sent chills through me when I heard it again after such a long time. I listened to some of "Please Clarify" albums and the songs on there to... You have a talent with music." I blushed so hard at this point. "This may seem odd and strange and random and crazy and odd...but it would be amazing." He laughed and giggled nervously. "Bethan O'Connor, would you do Paramore, and me, the honour of writing a song to go onto this new album?"