Lifted // Klance

Chapter thirty one

"You'll live I promise."

Was the worst lie i've ever made.

A few days later, I was found squeezed between two seats. His funeral wasn't crowded. Not many people in the Canadian Rockies knew who that happy flying-loving boy was. He was someone who deserved to be known. But he was late in the social game.

I listened silently to pastor speak, a bible in his hands and glancing up from it every now and then. After a while, Jess and Noah took turns talking about their son, holding in a few tears. It was difficult to listen to then talk about him. There was a rock in my throat. The area around my nose was super sensitive. Staying silent was painful.

"Keith was... a positive. Sometimes optimistic young man... not many are familiar with him. No one in our quaint little town knew we had a son..." Noah spoke, gripping onto Jess's hands. "He wanted to share his love... to everyone he meets..."

I ended up zoning out after while. I couldn't listen to anymore. Any second, i'll burst out crying again just like I have been these past days in my room. The day I returned to the Kogane's house, was the day I found out that he wasn't just asleep on the sofa. From his thin wrists, I checked his pulse. Over a million times, not a single beat. I called for Jess and Noah... nothing that day was worth smiling about.

Once it was my turn to speak, I fumbled with my note. All the words I had written about my love was displayed on there. But my breath was shaky. I wasn't able to say as much as I wanted to. "Uh... I was his boyfriend... Lance. And I uh... love him. Nothing anyone will say will change how I feel."

Of course, I was hinting my homophobic parents that sat in the chairs in front of me. But I didn't dare to look at them. "Thank you..." I mumbled and stepped off. There was over a million things I wanted to say about him. Everything I wanted to say was in my mind, never leaving my lips. Once I was done speaking, everyone glanced at each other. They expected me to say much more.

But Keith already knows how I feel. And how much he means the world me to. I had to remind myself countless times that he wasn't completely gone. And that I could still see him on the photographs on his photo albums. And every time I flip through those pages, i'll watch that sweet cute boy grow up with his passion. Jess had let me keep one of them. So everyday, I could look back at the pictures.

Once everyone was ready to say their farewells, I was the last person. And took my turn to look at his pretty face. I stuck my note down on the side and some apricots, freshly picked from the farm, over his never-moving body. I stroked his black hair and pushed it behind his ears, leaning down and pressing my forehead down against his.

It was time I let go of everything I kept inside me. All the tears I held back were escaping. I sobbed and let my teardrops wet his face. I can never touch him again... speak to him... or listen to his heart beat and the way he speaks, or actually see him again. After today, he'll be underground.

I pressed my lips against his dry cold ones, warming it for him. I missed his lips...

Once I finally pulled away, I refused to watch him getting buried in the ground. After a few, I sat alone under a tall tree. Not giving a shit that I was getting myself dirty again.

My head hit the bark and I inhaled, crying to myself softly. I needed him... I want him. I love him too much to see him leave me this way. I wanted to be with him forever... and grow old together. I would have taken him to my farm again. We'd play and laugh together. I'd stroke his soft hair as he'd sit on my lap.