Don't Wake Me Up || Discontinued

Chapter Nine - Cuts

I stared out the window, waiting for Harry to shower and come watch a movie with me, as we always loved to do. He claimed he needed a shower after the day we had. I found it strange that Harry needed a shower since all we did was talking to someone from Modest! about yesterday's performance and how we have to try harder to hide the relationship (which Harry and I both agreed we would not do), grabbed some food (of course not together) and talk about the day before. Maybe he thought iHop was dirty or something, who knows. All I knew was Harry always did weird things and he wanted to shower, so I allowed him. Plus, you cant really say no.

Harry emerged from the bathroom. a towel wrapped tightly around his torso and his brown curls, dripping wet, flopped over his forehead. I licked my lips, eyeing Harry, clearly showing what I wanted. He shook his head and grabbed a towel off the bed. He flipped his head downward and rubbed both sides of his hair at once, throwing water everywhere. I watched as he threw the towel into the bathroom and walked towards his dresser, his hands firmly against his sides. It took him about two minutes before he pulled out grey boxers, blue sweatpants and a white T-shirt. He shimmed his shirt over his wet body, then pulled his boxers on under his towel. Then the towel dropped, leaving him almost half-naked. Next, he pulled on his pants, then returned to the dresser to pull a jumper over his head and throw the wet towel into the bathroom before coming to sit with me.

"You cold, babe?" I wrapped my arms around him, then rubbed his left arm. He winced.

"Uh, um, yea," he stuttered, then looked through the movie cases I had laid out to choose from. He picked up Carrie (the original) and nodded, then got up to put it into the DVD player. He came back and slid under the covers next to me. I intertwined my hand with his under the blanket and pressed lay as the movie started.

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"I'm hot," Harry said about halfway through the movie. He threw the covers off of him - in result, off of me, too. I tugged at his jumper.

"Maybe 'cause you got this thing on. Take it off," I said, pulling the blankets back over me. He sighed, then shook his head, pulling the blankets underneath him and laying on top of them. Now this was weirder than Harry-weird.

I paused the movie and leaned on my elbow, facing Harry. "Anything you'd like to tell me?" he shook his head. I nodded, then pressed play on the remote, and fixated my eyes on the TV again.

I reached down and grabbed his hand again, rubbing my fingertips up and down his hand - to his fingers and back to the beginning of his wrist. He tried to stop me, but I continued. I had a plan of action. In one, quick motion, I pulled his sleeve as high as I would fit. he quickly tried to pull it down, but his attempt failed. The damage was already taken notice of.

I grabbed his hand and rolled it over in mine, exposing his inner wrist. Unfortunately, my assumptions were correct. Neatly, in a row, there were five fresh blood-red lines across Harry's wrist. I ran my fingers over them, and he cringed. Scared, I removed my hand from his wrist, tears pooling in my eyes. I kissed his wrist gently, and then his lips as a tear rolled down my cheek.

"Why," I muttered, staring at the injury Harry had inflicted upon himself. I sighed. About two years ago, when Modest! began telling Harry and I to not be as public, I got extremely upset. I grew to accept it, but then my sisters started voicing their opinion every day. Then, the realization hit me. Eventually, I began to self-harm. I did for about four months until I stopped for Harry. I hadn't since then.

Then, Harry's dad found about us. This was about a year after I had stopped. Harry went into the same funk I did, and began to self-harm - worse than I did. The worst part was, I couldn't stop him for six months. He didn't;'t do it for so long, and now a half a year later I catch him with cuts on his wrist. Of course, I was upset and disappointed and worried, but I knew there was only one way to deal with this: let him talk it out. I knew yelling at him wouldn't help, nonetheless freaking out on my part.

I met Harry's eyes, which were also filled with tears as the spilling over his face and dripped onto his pants. I got up and grabbed Harry's hand, pulling him to the bathroom. I pushed him onto the loo as he looked at me, quizzically. From under the sink, I took out Band-Aids, peroxide and the brand new card-board Modest! logo I always carried. I pulled his arm over the sink and doused the injuries in peroxide. we sat and listened to the sizzling of the medicine until it stopped. I patted his wrist and cover each one individually with a bandage before kissing them once more.

"You know what this is for. I'll be watching you, Harry."

"Yea," he choked, then got up to go back into the bed. I cleaned up as he walk out, then shut the light and went with him.

"I'll be right back, handsome." He nodded, then sun under the covers, repeatedly wiping the tears away.I left the room and walked into the kitchen, where Niall and Samantha were making some sort of food. . . or shall I say mess. I got Harry's favorite things and balanced them all in my arms, walking out of the kitchen.

Niall eyed me suspiciously, then crooked his neck towards the closet. I nodded subtly, then made my way back into the bedroom. Niall wanted to talk about what had happened.

Sitting on the bed, I plopped everything down and laid next to my boyfriend, hugging him tightly, whispering in his ear. I picked up a candy bar and opened it, putting the open end on his lips. He bit it, then smiled. I did the same.

We stayed there, talking, eating and embracing. Honestly, all I wanted to do was make Harry feel better. Some things, though, only happen in dreams. And this was reality. I wanted to sleep and dream of a happier time where Harry and I could be happy together, and not get woken by the terrible reality where Harry and I cant be together in public.

[A/N: This is s sad, I'm near tears. I love how I wrote this, though. I think it's one of the most well-written chapters in this book so far. I like it.

+If you suffer from self-harm or anything like so, I'm here for you. My kik is mrs_sammi_horan and my instagram(s) are _samantha_15 & storyofmy_direction , so feel free to contact me at anytime. You are not alone. . . not now, not later, not ever. Everything will be okay in the end; if its not okay, its not the end, so Stay Strong and don't ever, ever give up. I love you.+]