Don't Wake Me Up || Discontinued

Chapter Seventeen - Barely Alive

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I heard a few faint murmurs throughout the quiet room. I, myself, knew I had survived my suicide attempt from last night after Harry caught Zayn beating me. The others, did not. I had kept my eyes closed, my body still as they spoke of how my heart rate was not yet back to normal. So much went on in this very room on this very - apparently beautiful - morning. Zayn had denied everything, and he was believed, meanwhile Harry was not. The mark I usually cover with makeup, since it's never visible, was thought to be from falling when I had passed out in the bathroom.

I was surprised that I had made it, since last I remember I took about 30 pills, all covered in various liquid medicine. Since they caught me right away, though, I was immediately fed water, then taken to the hospital to get my stomach pumped, not to mention the stiches in my wrist because of my writing mechanism.  Nonetheless, I still felt as if I could drop dead any second. I knew what was going on, despite everyone's thoughts that I wasn't. I was on life support, which was basically all I was holding onto at this point. By the time they pumped me, it had just barely kept me alive enough to be on life support. Either way, my sisters has pleaded to take me off, since I deserved to be dead anyway. Zayn had said nothing, which was the complete opposite of Harry. He would not let the doctors to allow me to die.

A machine beeped as I felt myself doze out again, followed by desperate yells of Harry and hopeful voices of doctors wanting to save me. I don't think they understood. I was Louis Tomlinson, why in bloody hell would I attempt suicide? If only they knew what went on during a daily basis. I felt the cloth on my stomach being pulled off most aggressively, followed by a cold metal meeting my skin. "All clear," someone said before a shock went zooming through my body. The metal was removed again, then placed back on. "All clear," the person said again, as the shock vibrated throughout my chest.

The machine stopped buzzing as things started clanking and the metal was removed from my chest, the cloth put back on top of me. I heard the footsteps leave the room, leaving the room quiet, except for a soft sob. There was a sniffle, then a hand placed on mine. It had to be Harry. He squeezed my hand, tight. It was wet and cold. "Louis," he said, in his oh-so-sad voice. it was trembling, just like he hand. He sniffled. I gasped, it was getting harder to breathe. "Louis?" he said again, his voice making it clear he was crying. I stayed silent. "Well, I'm hoping you can hear me. . ." his voice trailed off, his hand wrapping tighter around mine.

"I love you so much," he said, taking a deep breath, "And I'm very sad you tried to leave me. I know you love me, and I know I love but, b-but, why did you try and leave? I-I thought we were doing this together. . . You and me against-t the world, re-remember? Who cares what anyway says, it was just supposed to be us. . . I don't get it. Why? Why you? Why us? I can't l-lose you, you're all I have left. I know it's hard, I know you can't - no, you don't want to - do it, and neither do I, but we have to. We have to be ones who make, despite all those times we were told we can't, we won't. You have to be strong. I have to be strong. We have to strong. What's the point of me going on if you won't? I believed the light at the end of my tunnel was you, and if you're gone, it's dark. I don't want to live in the dark. Hold on, please, don't give up. Hold on, don't die tonight. Please. If you die tonight, part of me will die, too. I would probably never admit this, Louis, but since this may be my last chance. . . I'm in love with you and I just, I want us to get married. Adopt a little girl and a little boy, show them off for the world to see. We can name them, I can name one and you can name the other. they'll be ours, and no one else's. No one can control how we take care of them, no one can control us then. We'll have our beautiful little girl and handsome little boy, and I'll love them forever. But, Louis, I can't do this without you. So, please, don't die on me. Don't leave me today. I love you so much. 'You know I’ll be. . . your life, your voice, your reason to be. My love, my heart is breathing for this. Moments in time, I’ll find the words to say. . . Before you leave me today.' Please. . ."

He let go of my hand, and I heard footsteps leave, and the door creek open. My whole body was shaking, tears forming behind my closed eyelids. I never did know Harry felt that strongly about me, or even that this would destroy him so much. I couldn't let him leave, thinking today was my last day on Earth. I'm still here, even by a string, and I didn't want to leave now. I couldn't. Harry needed me. After he left, that was it. That was it for Harry and I, even if I made it. The fear of what he'd do after leaving, not knowing if I was going to make it or not, scared me. He couldn't leave, too. I couldn't destroy that many people, especially one of the people I love the most. Harry was right, it was him and I against the world. He had to know, even in what could be my last breaths, that it was like that.

"Harry."

[A/N: I  actually cried while writing this, it was bad omg

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