Baby Wants It

Chapter 5: Bliss

I want nothing more than to dissolve into the floor and escape this pain. I hear footsteps and feel strong hands pulling me up. It's Don. He pulls me to him in a tight hug. "Be strong, son. She needs you to be strong."

I grip him with all my strength and sob into his neck. "I can't live without her. I can't. I just can't."

He pats me hard and herds me toward the waiting room. "Stop. Don't even let your mind go there. She's a tough cookie and she would kick your ass if you didn't man up for your kids. So stop this talk right now. Dr. Maclain knows what she is doing and Dakota is in good hands."

The waiting room is already full of people. Kelly is keeping the kids, so Melanie is there tending to Blake, Chase - and Emily and Riley – who have just arrived. Grandma Tippi is on her way. Melanie has a phone to her ear, but as soon as she sees me, she rushes over. "Jamie, it's your Dad."

I take the phone from her and go to sit in a chair somewhat removed from the group. "Dad?"

"Son, Mel called me right away. How are you doing? Samina is packing and we're on a flight out in 3 hours. I'll be there as soon as I can."

Elbows on knees, I hang my head as I cry to my Dad. "I can't lose her, Dad. I don't know what happened. She was fine, and then, she just - wasn't. I'm scared. I can't lose her."

"James, stop. Sometimes this happens. The baby rolls and presses on the Mom's artery, the umbilical cord gets twisted, all kinds of things can cause this. Luckily, you were in the hospital and both Dakota and the baby were monitored. From what Mel told me, they had her into the OR in a minute or less. You are in the best position you can be and you need to think only positive thoughts right now. Dakota and my grandbaby need that. Can you do that for me?"

"I'm trying, but Dad, you didn't see her. She didn't open her eyes and she didn't grip my hand. She was OUT, Dad."

"And that's why they whisked her away to deal with it, son. I know it's hard, but you have to buck up and have faith. She is strong and healthy. The baby is strong and healthy. There is no reason to believe for anything other than a positive outcome."

"You're right. Thanks, Dad. I love you. Travel safe." I click to end the call and drop the phone to the floor while I grip my head to try to stop the pounding. I hear muted voices around me, I feel a hand stroking my back, but I just can't bear to look at anyone or talk to anyone right now. I'm not prepared to deal with this. At all. How did this happen? What am I going to say to Rose and Trey? I simply can't imagine my life without my Dakota.

It feels like mere minutes later when Ally comes in the door with a pink bundle in her arms. She looks around and her eyes find mine as she moves toward me, "Dad, I thought you'd like to meet your daughter." I stand on unsteady legs and reach out to take her.

I kiss her sweet baby smelling head and tell the room, "This is Lola Max." There are lots of oohs and ahs and I look back to Ally. "Dakota?"

Her eyes well over, "I'm so sorry, Jamie. I'm so sorry. I couldn't save her."

Melanie takes the baby from my arms as I fall back to my chair, "NOOOOOOO. No, you can't tell me that! I don't accept that! She can't be gone!"

"JAMIE!"

"SNAP OUT OF IT!"

I startle and realize my mind has been wandering into a very dark place as everyone around me looks on with concern. I look to Mel and realize there is no baby in her arms. "Dakota?"

She smiles through her tears, "No news yet, baby. Soon."

I sigh out a breath of relief as I realize I had a waking nightmare. "Thank God. Thank God."