Baby Wants It

Chapter 13: The Long Way Home

A/N: Two things: First, I think many of you totally missed chapter 11. Wattpad was partially out for several days and posts were not showing up on various devices. Please make sure you read it – will make the rest make so much more sense!

Second, this is a long chapter and the end for this story. As always, I'm sad to close out a story, but very excited for what will come next. THANKS so much to all of you who read, vote, encourage. Love you bunches!

I hold Dakota close to me, simply listening to her as she breathes. Ally gave her a sedative so she is dozing, and I'm silently praying for guidance to handle this situation well when she wakes up. As terrified as I was of her being pregnant, I'm even more afraid now. Is she going to want to leave me? Is she going to want me to leave? I can't and won't let either of those things happen, but I know I said some despicable things and I have no idea how to earn her forgiveness. I'm at a loss about how to navigate. I hate feeling helpless. And it's all my own damn fault. God, how could I have been such an ass?!?!

Ally comes in to check on my girl and suggests that I go bring the car around. "I'm just going to make sure she doesn't have any unusual bleeding, but you're good to take her home." She reaches out to stroke my arm, "Just be patient with her, Jamie. She wasn't far along, but far enough that her hormones are going to swing. And she's going to go through the grieving steps. I know you want to deal with the argument you two had, but now is not the time. Just love her through this."

I nod at her, "I can do that." I give her hand a squeeze, "Thank you, for everything. I don't know what we would do without you."

Ally rouses Dakota and she startles when she realizes I'm still snuggling her. She stiffens a little and gently pulls her hand away from mine. I disentangle myself and climb out of the bed. "I'm going to bring the car around, baby. We're taking you home."

She looks at me with dull eyes. "The kids are with Mama. I think I'd rather go there."

"Sweetheart, I'll take you wherever you want to go, but I think you'll be more comfortable at home and I promise to go get the kids first thing in the morning."

She turns her head away. "I don't want to talk to you right now, Jamie."

I sigh heavily, "I can respect that. But I'm not leaving you. I AM going to take care of you. And I can do that without talking."

*****

Ally looks at me with a small frown. "How are you feeling, my friend?"

I shrug. "Sore. Sad. Scared."

She sits on the side of the bed and holds my hand. "I want you to listen to me carefully, Dakota." She waits until I meet her eyes. "You've suffered a loss. It's okay to be sad. And I know this pregnancy wasn't planned, so it's even okay to feel relieved. You didn't do anything to cause this." She pauses meaningfully, "And neither did Jamie. Be careful that you don't punish him for this. He is punishing himself enough."

"I know this is not his fault, but Ally you didn't hear him when I told him I was pregnant. He actually accused me of faking contraception. What does that say about the state of our marriage? How do I get past that?"

She has the nerve to chuckle at me, "Honey, I could tell you HORROR stories about stupid things Dads said when they found out their wives were pregnant – stories that would make your hair fall out! Dakota, I know you are smart enough to understand that he said that in the heat of the moment and I'm sure he regretted it the moment the words left his mouth. And you and I both know that he didn't mean it and he doesn't believe it."

I sigh, "I appreciate your concern, Ally, but I'm really not up for the marriage counseling right now. I just want to go home and sleep."

She pats my hand, "Fair enough. Just give yourself permission to grieve, and let him grieve too."