Baby Wants It

Chapter 16: Demons and Angels

A/N: This chapter is dedicated to my dear friend Tina and the memory of Peyton and Sydney. I am praying for and believing for much happiness (and dirty diapers) in your future and I can only hope this story continues to put a smile on your face. ILY, Sweet Lady!

Daddy races us to the hospital with Jamie in the front seat and Jim in the back with me. He turns me and props my feet up, one on the front seat and one on the back. "Love, keep your legs up. Let's slow this down as much as we can." He strokes my belly with one hand and holds my hand firmly with the other. "But don't you worry. If my grandsons decide to hop out, I know what to do." His eyes twinkle and I giggle as my eyes roll back in my head.

A strong contraction hits, "Oh my God. Papa, can you please do a dickectomy on Jamie because I swear to Christ I am NEVER going through this again. Just cut it off. Cut if off and then let me slap him with it."

Daddy is laughing his ass off, while Jim continues to stroke my belly. "Just breathe, love. Let's get you through this, and I promise you'll never have to do it again."

He smiles at me. "Breathe, love. Hee hee, hoo hoo." He grips my hand harder, "With me, love, hee hee, hoo hoo."

I focus on his eyes and do as he says. Daddy screeched into ER drive through and stopped so fast I would have fallen into the floor if not for Jim holding onto me. Jamie jumped out and ran to the desk while Daddy opened the door and reached in to help me out. Jamie ran out and scooped me into his arms and raced into the room where two nurses were waiting with a wheelchair. He set me in it and Jim said, "Get moving, she's progressing fast."

They zoom us into an elevator as Ally comes running through the door. "Wait!" She jumps in with us and the lift ascends. She looks to Jim with raised eyebrows as she puts the ear plugs of her stethoscope into her ears. "Status?" She listens to my heart and puts it on my belly as well.

Jim looks stern. "Water broke and contractions started coming strong and hard immediately. I didn't do a pelvic, but based on what I see, she is far along."

"DRUGS! I want the damn drugs, people! Drug me up and then take me into a nice quiet room and get these babies out of me. KNOCK ME THE FUCK OUT!"

Jamie shushes me and strokes my head. "Easy love. We're going to take care of you and the babies as soon as we can." I swat him away, "Oh shh yourself. I love you, Jamie, but you and your ninja sperm are never getting near this kitten again." Another contraction hits me hard and I squeeze his hand in a death grip, "Sonofafuckingbitch in a whorehouse on a peanut butter cracker ahhhhhh! Goddammit you panty ripping charm dripping dung beetle in a Cadillac – I fucking hate your ass right now!"

Daddy is laughing again and I hear him mutter, "I thought you drove a Lexus. And damn, where did she get that potty mouth?"

Jamie grunts, "She's just getting started."

Ally answers him, "She must be progressing fast if we've reached the colorful language phase already." The elevator comes to a stop and we move onto the labor and delivery floor – one I recognize well. Jim kisses my head, "I love you, sweet girl. I'm going to go scrub and get ready."

I growl at him, "Don't forget to bring your clippers for that dickectomy. I swear to you, Papa, he's never getting in there again."

He kisses his finger and presses it to my lips. Daddy leans in to kiss my nose and I see the tears in his eyes despite the smile on his face, "Hang in there baby girl. I love you. And if Jim forgets his clippers, I'll rip Jamie's balls off for you, okay?" It was enough to make me smile, as they wheel me away.

Jamie holds one hand firmly as Ally shouts orders at various nurses in the hallway. I take matters into my own hands. "Ally, sew me up. Once these babies are out, just sew me up. Close me off. I'm NEVER doing this shit again. I mean NEVER! Sew me up. Nothing else is going in or coming out. You got it? Nothing! Jim will cut off Jamie's dick and you will sew me up and I'll be all good AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH goddam puppy spit shit licking fuck me to hell and back.....UMMMMPPPPHHHHH. DRUGS, Ally, GET ME THE DAMN DRUGS!!!!!!"