Baby Wants It

Chapter 8: BOOM!

Mama Mel may be the only person I know who can chew your ass out and spit it on the ground without ever raising her voice. I am still smarting from our conversation.

"Hi sweetie. How is filming going?"

I pause, knowing this is NOT why she is calling. "Um, fine. I'm actually in Messina right now and headed back to the family the day after tomorrow."

"Jamie, you know I love you like my own son, right? And I'm going to tell you exactly what I'd tell my own son. You need to get your head out of your ass right quick or you aren't going to have a family to go back to."

"Mela.."

"Stop. My turn to talk. Honey, I know what happened with Max scared you, and I can appreciate that you needed some time to deal with those feelings. I'm proud of you for seeking help, but Jamie, you are unraveling my daughter and I don't think you know it. She thinks you've lost all sexual interest in her and she is booking flights to come home as we speak. I know you haven't lost interest, at least I choose to believe that, but I'm telling you that you are about to fuck up your marriage beyond repair if you don't take some action quickly."

I sigh into the phone, "I'm on it, Mel. I'll fix it. I can't lose her. I won't lose her. I'm finally back into my right headspace and I'm working on a plan."

I can feel her approving smile over the phone. "Now THAT is what I want to hear. How can I help?"

"I need to figure out the details, but can you possibly come over to help Tara with the kids for a few days?"

"Actually, Grace and Jesse were planning to come this weekend. I'll see if they can move their trip up a day or two."

I look to the heavens. "That would be PERFECT! See if they can come in on Thursday. I'll be happy to pay to get them here sooner."

"Pish, baby. I'll make sure they get there on Thursday. Is there anything else I can do?"

"Please just keep talking her off the ledge and don't let her do anything stupid before I get back. I love her, Mama. You know that."

"I do know that, sweetie, which is the only reason I bothered to interfere. She is planning to be gone before you get back, so you might want to see if you can change your travel plans to get home, say, three hours earlier than planned. Can you do that?"

"I'll make that happen. Thank you. For everything. You're such a great mom to both of us and I'll never be able to tell you what that means to me."

She sniffles, "You just did, baby. Now you go take care of business and I'll get Grace and Jesse sorted out. I love you."

I can't help but choke up, "I love you too. Thanks for calling me."

I hang up and take deep breaths to try to still the commotion in my brain. Eventually, my thinking calms down and aligns and a loose plan forms in my mind. I pick up the phone to call Daniel. "Can you please conference in Tara? I have an idea, but I'm going to need both of you to help."

*****

I pull some luggage out of the closet and set to packing with a sad sigh. Part of me feels a little guilty for leaving before he returns, but the other part of me says he'll probably be relieved – so I'm actually doing him a favor. I just know I can't see him again, or I'll lose my resolve. My head is officially whacked out and I'll never get it straight around him, so I'm going to give myself the gift of space to figure out what to do next. I don't want a divorce. I don't want to be without him. But I don't think I can live in a marriage where my husband doesn't desire me. That's never going to be enough for me. I'll eventually get bitter and angry. One or both of us will end up cheating. That's not what I want for either of us. Better to part ways now when we actually still like each other. We can figure it out from here.