Phoenix (Editing)

Chapter 2 *Edited*

Claire stood in the center of a deserted playground. The wind whipped her hair across her face as she turned, confused, surveying her surroundings. She could faintly make out a noise as it tickled at her senses and as she focused, she realized it was laughter; children's laughter. She looked around again, sure that she'd missed the children she heard laughing. She began to walk around the large slide as the sound seemed to be coming from that direction.

As she neared the large, colorful structure, the sound seemed to be coming from by the swings, but as she looked there was no one there. She placed a hand on her stomach and looked down in shock when she realized that it was flat. She groped for her boys as if she could magically produce her missing fetuses.

Her heart started racing as she spun in circles calling for her missing sons. A strong sense of dread began to consume her as her voice raised louder, calling for her boys. She dashed about in a panic, now screaming at the top of her lungs.

Powerful hands held her shoulders and she found herself looking into her husband's eyes. She gasped for breath as she clung to his wrist with her good hand, moisture gliding from her eyes into her ears. My good hand? She thought she'd just been having a nightmare, but as she looked down the length of her body, she saw her left arm was in a cast from her fingers to her elbow and beyond that, she saw the white sterile walls of the hospital.

Still confused and reeling from her nightmare, she noticed that something was missing from her view that had once taken up a temporary but expanding residence over the past few months. Tobias was talking to her, but she couldn't understand what he was saying as his words turned to white noise and she slowly reach down and touched her smooth stomach, just as she had in her dream. Only she knew she was awake, and panic seized her ten times worse than any nightmare.

Finally, she acknowledged her husband as she clutched his wrist even tighter in her tiny hand. "Where are my babies?" Her breathing was fast, and Tobias was afraid that she would pass out.

"Nurse!" He hollered over his shoulder, but his wife's grip proved to be surprisingly strong as she clung to him repeatedly inquiring about their unborn children, her voice reaching new decibels as she continued to go unanswered. He finally looked her in the eyes, tears filling his own as he whispered, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He tried to pull her to him then, to hug her.

As her parents rushed into the room behind her nurse, all of Claire's strength seeped out of her and was replaced it unending agony as a wail of pure desolation wracked her. She screamed repeatedly as it felt like her soul was being shredded. Tobias still held her to him, and he didn't have time to defend himself as she lashed out with her plastered arm, knocking him in the temple.

Her parents stood shocked as she assaulted him, and he made no moves to defend himself. The nurse yelled for assistance as she raced through the door and quickly returned with a syringe, uncapping it as security finally stepped into the room.

"You murderer!" Claire screamed as she continued to pummel her husband who remained hunched by the wall beside her hospital bed, taking the beating with tears running down his face. His muffled apologies only incensed Claire even more and she wanted to kill him. She was still screaming, "You murdered my babies!" As security pulled her off of Tobias and pinned her down to the bed. The nurse swiftly approached and injected her with a strong sedative as her mother raced to her side.

"It's going to be alright, baby." Her mother cooed in her ear as she cried.

Through heart wrenching sobs Claire's voice started to slur as she fought off the darkness trying to overtake her. "My boys." Her legs kicked feebly. "I want my boys. I want to see my babies." She whispered as she felt the darkness eating away at her awareness, but not before she heard the nurse.

"As soon as you wake up, honey, but you have to be calm." And then everything went black.

***

Claire groaned as she touched her fingers to the gauze wrapped around her head, and then stopped when she had difficulty moving her fingers. She slowly peeled her eyes open and peered at her hand. Upon seeing the cast on her upper arm everything came flooding back and the ache in her heart intensified. She whimpered as she curled up into a ball, missing her huge stomach already.

"Claire." Tobias said cautiously from near the window.

She panted as she looked at him, her heart breaking all over again. "Why are you still here?" She asked as he edged closer.

Tobias dropped to his knees beside the bed as he placed his forehead beside her legs. "I'm so fucking sorry." He looked up at her with red, tear filled eyes. She noticed he had a dark ring around one of them and briefly wondered if she'd given that to him. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen. Our boys ..." He choked on the words and had to swallow past the lump in his throat. "I would give anything to be able to bring them back."

Claire shut her eyes trying to block out the pain, but it was soul deep and she wished she had passed on with them. Her chin trembled as she tried to suppress the rising wail growing in her chest. She took a deep breath and instead asked, "Why?"

"I don't know how it happened. I never believed I could be in love with two women at the same time." Tobias couldn't look at her. "I tried to end it more times than you'll ever know, but ... I'm weak and I couldn't stay away from her. I never wanted to lose you ... I certainly didn't want this to happen."

Claire didn't want to hear anymore. "Where are they? I want to see them. I have to see them." She finally sat up, putting distance between them. None of this felt real. She felt like she should be waking from this nightmare at any moment, but it never happened.

"They're in the morgue." Tobias wiped his tears and tried to compose himself. "I was waiting for you before I started arrangements for their funeral. If ... if you think you'll be able to handle it I can take you down there."

Claire pressed the call button for her nurse. "I don't need your help. I'd rather crawl naked across the pits of hell before I ever ask for your help." She stared at him wishing she could set him on fire.

"Claire, please don't push me away. I know I fucked up. I can't bring the twins back, but I will spend the rest of my life trying to make this up to you if you'll let me. I know that I hurt you ..." His voice wavered.

"Hurt me? You did so much more than hurt me and I will never forgive you for what you cost me. Your selfishness cost my sons a chance at life. You destroyed me. You could never make that up to me no matter how hard you try." Claire couldn't believe she would never get to hear their laughter, see their smiles. She'd never experience any 'firsts' with them. Their first-time crawling, standing on their own, walking, riding their bikes, tying their shoes, their first day at school, first crush, first dates, first dance. A sob escaped her as she thought of the bright future that had been cut short for her children. "Get out."

"Claire .."

"Get out!" She cut him off, "before I give you another black eye." She swore as the nurse finally arrived.

"Is everything alright in here?" The nurse asked sensing the tension in the air.

"My soon to be ex-husband was just leaving." Claire arched an eyebrow at him. "You'll be hearing from my attorneys'." She called to his retreating back. She hated him, she realized as she watched him leave. She'd never been a spiteful person before, but in that moment, she realized she truly hated him and her former best friend and she wanted him to hurt. She planned on getting to him the only way she knew would cause him the most pain. She was going to take everything he had.

"Was there anything you needed?" The older woman asked tentatively, giving her a gentle expression.

Claire swallowed thickly once her attention snapped back. "I want to see my sons." She said softly.

The nurse gave her a sympathetic look and nodded. "I'll talk to the doctor, if he gives the go ahead, he'll have an orderly escort you down."

"You misunderstand. I don't give a damn what the doctor has to say. I'm going to see my children." Claire pushed back the covers and swung her legs over the side of the bed, her sock covered feet touching the cold hospital floor.