Everything is Gray (Langst)

Chapter 4

Lance Pov

I trudged down the hallways of the castle, set on heading to my room. All I wanted right to do right now was to curl up on my bed and just bawl, I was mentally and physically to tired. My migraine is most likely going to make me so much more vulnerable. The talk with Slav really took some energy out of me, it was hard acting like I was ok and unfazed by what Allura said. But truthfully, I wanted to scream and cry, and hug my mom. And just go home. I let out a small sob as the door to my room opened. I stumbled in as the door closed behind me. I collapsed on my bed, tangling myself in the sheets. Finally, I can drop my mask and let everything go...
It wasn't fair!
It wasn't fair!
It just wasn't fair.

I didn't want to be here, I never asked to be launched into space in a giant metal lion. I never asked to be almost killed everyday. I never asked to be this. I hugged the pillow close to my chest and snuggled my face in it. I tried to imagine myself back on Varadero, where my home and family was. I tried to imagine myself running around and chasing the twins while the heat of the sun beat down on me. I tried to imagine myself laughing as my older cousin fell from a tree and into the water below. I tried to imagine myself as my family waved good bye before I left for the Garrison, the joy I felt seeing my whole family together. If I had know I was never going to see them again, I would have never went to the stupid Garrison.

"I am so proud of you, Mijo. Now go, your future is waiting for you."

That was the last sentence my mama told me before I left. Oh, mama, if only you could see how much I have failed you... She had always told me I was the brightest star in the sky, the apple of the McClain family. I always believed her. I didn't know how much I was lying to myself, until now. Please, any god or goddess out there, just let me rest in peace...

-----

Keith pov

I was heading back to the training deck when I crossed Lance's. Usually, I wouldn't care what he was doing, but today was different. I could hear muffled sobbing from inside. It must have been the beat down Allura have him, just while ago. I mean, what she said was true. But even I thought she was a little tough on him. If Lance hadn't gone, Slav wouldn't be on this ship right now and the mission would have been a complete fail.

Lance was still sobbing and it sounded like he was having trouble breathing now. He was choking on his own sobs. Even though I did find Lance some what annoying, I wasn't heartless. I sighed and opened my rival's door. What I saw took whatever hesitance I had left and threw it out the window. Lance was curled up on his bed, his face buried in the pillow, and he tangled up in the sheets. His body was shaking heavily and his pillow was soaked. I wasn't good at offering comfort, I never have been. I shuffled forward after hearing the door automatically close. No going back now. Lance still hadn't notice I was there, so I sat on the edge of his bed and laid a hand on his back. That's when he noticed me. He stopped sobbing just for a second and looked up at me. His bright blue eyes were now an angry red. He sniffled and face planted back into his pillow. He continued sobbing as I rubbed his back in comfort. Soon, his cries slowed and all that was left were small hiccups. Now was the perfect time to talk to him.
"Um, Lance what's wrong?" I asked, I wasn't sure how to start this off, but I tried my best.
"Nothing." He mumbled back.
"Oh sure, that why you were totally not crying."
"Just leave me alone. You never cared about me, so why now?"
"Im trying to help. Just talk to me."I admit, that did sting, just a little.
"I'm homesick, that's all." He admitted, turning his head away from me.
"We all miss earth in someway, Lance. I miss my cabin and my motorcycle. Maybe it'll help if you tell me what you miss." I offered.
"Fine. I miss my mama and my papa, and the twins running around causing havoc. I miss my older sister, Rosie, and my younger brother Isaac. I miss all of them! I miss Rosie, and Jake, and Isaac, and Leo, and Maria, and Amelia, and both of the twins! I miss my neighborhood and all of my friends, sometimes we would have an ice cream truck pass by and we would chase it until it stopped." Lance let out a small chuckle at that. But he sighed afterwords.
"But what I miss most is the ocean, I always go there when I felt down or mad. It was like my second home. It was always calling to me. How long have I been gone? Did my older cousin, Ryan, graduate already? Maybe I missed my brother's birthday. I just want to go home." How Lance talked about his home and family, it was full of emotion and longing. I just let him ramble and rant. I would never admit this, but it was nice.
"Maybe you can introduced the team to them once we get back."
"Yeah, once we get back..."

I stood up from the bed and and stretched.
"Well, try to get some rest, you did good today." I didn't bother looking back and soon left the room.
But still, I just couldn't get over the fact that maybe homesickness wasn't the whole reason why Lance was crying.

-----Notes

I'm pretty sure I'm delusional...650+ views!!! I'm delusional alright! Doc! Hey Doc! Clarify this for me!
Doc: You're not delusional, people actually socially, -Excuse me...I mean virtually accept you.
I don't know who would want to read my junk, but I appreciate it! So thanks you guys! Accept this chapter as my thank you gift!

Yeah, so, I worked really hard on this chapter because my device ran out of batteries and it didn't save, so I had to rewrite half of this. ;-;
Our Baby Lance, poor poor him. Why am I hurting him. ;-;
Anyway! Is anyone else super excited!?! The third season of Voltron came out yesterday! I'm super excited! We get to see more of our little Blue Boy!!! But like always! The art is not mine (Shout out to whoever drew it!) and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! The next chapter isn't going to be up for awhile, school is starting soon and I want to get everything all done and set before starting a chapter again! Anyway, I hope you understand and I'll see you next time!

Tata~!