Everything is Gray (Langst)

Part 15

Lance pov

I can see it, a light. I stood up from my position on the ground and stumbled towards it. There was a nagging feeling in me, telling me to go through. I couldn't feel anything. No emotion, no pain. My mind was blank. So blank that if you asked me my name, I couldn't tell you it. The light was warm against my hand as I closed eyes, the harsh lights doing nothing for my migraine. Wait...migraine. The dead can't feel. Then suddenly, I felt a rush of adrenaline.

I gasped

The harsh lights of the ship burned my eyes and I groaned in pain. My head pounded as a wave of nausea crashed over me.
"Lance!" Two voices shouted at me, but I only pushed my self up and gagged over the side of the bed. I groaned again as someone pushed me back onto the bed.
"Shh, shh. It's going to be ok. Keith get Allura now." I knew that voice.
"Shiro." I rasped out.
"Yeah, yeah, it gonna be ok." But I wasn't convinced.
"What...happened?"
He closed his eyes.
"I'll tell you when you're better." He sighed."Get some rest."
But I didn't care.
"The...team...they...ok?" I blinked, my body felt heavy.
"They're all ok. You're the only one hurt."
"Good." I closed my eyes.
"Lance?"
I groaned, my consciousness slipping.
"Never mind, get some rest, alright buddy?" He ruffled my hair gently, before pulling the thing covers over me.
"Yeah, thanks Space Dad." I managed a small grin.
"Haha, you're welcome." The door slid shut.

The sickening silence filled the room. The only thing audible was my heartbeat coming from a machine. Truth was, I wasn't sleepy or tired. No, I was rather thinking about what's gonna happen now? I pushed myself up from the small bed, pulling the tubes out of my arm. I winced at the pain, but felt much more  relaxed. I didn't know what they were doing to me so I felt better knowing I can go without them. Then a wave of pain hit me, I gasped a little and coughed harshly into my hands. 'Damn, one of them must of been pain medication.' My heartbeat sped up and an alarm went off. Not long after Keith, Shiro, and Allura ran in, all a stumbling mess.
"Lance! Lance! It's ok! What happened?" Allura shouted in alarm.
"I-I took out the tubes. I don't like needles." I whimpered.
"What were you thinking!" Keith shouted.
"I don't know. Not like I ever know what I'm thinking. I'm stupid aren't I? I did this to myself." I scoffed through the pain.
"Lance what are you saying?"
"I'm saying I didn't want you to save me. I'm saying I wanted to die. I'm saying I want to go home. I-I'm saying I don't want to hurt anymore." I sobbed as my voice cracked.
"I'm saying sorry."

The room was filled with silence. I couldn't deal with that.
"Say something! Say anything! Call me stupid! Useless! But don't say nothing..." I cried. I had my head in my hands as I broke.
Years of pain, suffering finally showed. My heart ached and I just couldn't do this anymore. I closed my eyes as tears flowed. The pain, the misery, the ache of knowing that I couldn't be anything filled my head. I screamed in anguish.

Sometimes not all heroes win, some lose. But they don't lose to the villains, sometimes they lose to themselves, and it's hard to get back up again.

All of a sudden I felt a pair of arms envelope me. I I lifted my arms weakly, hugging them back. I finally opened my eyes just a little bit and saw red. Keith...
I buried my head in his shoulders as I cried. I don't remember much after, I think I might've passed out. But, I wasn't complaining, as long as the pain couldn't touch me in the dream world...

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I am soooo sorry for not updating! Things came up and I just haven't had the motivation to do anything for awhile. I'm really sorry! I promise it won't happen again. All I know is that there is only TWO CHAPTERS LEFT! I know I know, you're probably all like FINALLY. Hehe, but I'm really sorry but I'm finally back and I hope to see you next time! Art isn't mine!

Tata~!