Fists and Lipsticks 2: The Silver Crescent

CHAPTER 05: Sessions (Part 1)

*A/N: All chapters titled 'SESSIONS' will be told in first person as Okamoto Shizuki.

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 CHAPTER 05: SESSIONS (Part 1)

With these sessions, I will keep a record of her story.

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 - DAY 1 SESSION PROGRESS NOTES -

 General Data: Patient is Y.A., a 25-year old, single, Japanese, hotelier currently residing in Tokyo, Japan.

 Chief complaint: Recurrent nightmares

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"Tell me about these 'nightmares'."

I pushed the red button placed the voice recording device on the table. Yoshida Ayane was sitting on a comfy chair in front of me, dressed rather too glamorously for our first psychiatric session – black trench coat over a white turtleneck top, thick and trendy runway belt, black tight-fitting skirt that stretched only to her mid-thigh, black knee-length five-inch heeled leather boots, and her hair styled in a neatly-fixed bun. She chose to have our first session inside her hotel office rather than my clinic.

She placed her half-consumed cigarette on the ashtray next to my voice recorder. After exhaling smoke, she leaned back on her chair and answered with a blank expression, "You would not wish to know."

I answered with a reassuring tone. "Yoshida-chan, I'm here to help you cope up with this stressful state you are in. I know that it would not be easy for you. Think of our sessions as a cold swimming pool – how, at first, getting in it is hard because the water feels freezing, but then it gradually gets warmer until feels fine in the end."

I watched her let out a sigh. To calm her nerves, she once again reached for her cigarette and took a puff. Seeing that she was waiting for me to say something, I decided to direct the conversation.

"Yoshida-chan, I want you to close your eyes."

At first, she flashed an apathetic look. I knew that she started to feel as if I were trying to make her do something ridiculous or bizarre. However, I was trained to handle such initial reactions. I knew exactly what kind of expression to make in order to counter that impression. I looked at her straight on the eye, and before she knew it, Yoshida-chan's eyes were already closed.

"Now, I want you to re-live that 'vision' in your mind at will," I said. "Would you describe the place you are in?"

She swallowed hard as beads of sweat rolled down profusely from her forehead. I watched her as she clenched her fists as she tried to experience the past once again as a result of reminiscing, not as a nightmare.

"I was..."

"Use 'I am'," I corrected.

"I am... in a dark room... with a long hallway..." she answered haltingly, "There are... a few windows, letting scanty light draw in..."

"What time of the day is it?"

"Night."

"And what do you see?"

"Death," she immediately replied. "I see death."

I could not help but pause for a while as I watched her clench her fists even more. I noticed that her previously confident posture was replaced by an anxious stance.

"They died because of me. It was my fault," Ayane added.

"For now, let us concentrate on what you see, not what you think," I directed. "Is there anything else you see?"