Fists and Lipsticks 2: The Silver Crescent

CHAPTER 45: Cross

 CHAPTER 45: CROSS

Today, I’m setting you free.

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He told me he’d be back by 10'oclock that night.

 It was a promise made by him – by Crosse Williams. I believed and waited. That bolted door would open and I would see him emerging from it, safe and smiling ever-so-blissfully. Yes, just like how things used to be in the past when all seemed too well and ecstatic, when all we cared about were the games we would play next, what kind of houses or vroom-vrooms he would draw, where we would meet to build castles in the air, and how we would spend the rest of our days together without having to worry about crosses to bear.

The present could not be as idealistic and naïve.

I hugged my knees and plopped down on the carpeted floors, tucking myself into the warmest position possible. I leaned on the curtains and permitted the faint light from the moon and the crisp, frosty wind from both the sky and the sea to seep into the narrow gap, touching my skin like a delicate quill yet wounding my spirit like sharp blades.

I shivered from the chilly thoughts, and so I warmly embraced my soul.

Ten in the evening – Crosse did not come back. Eleven, still none. Twelve, not even his shadow. Even after his mysterious disappearance eight years ago, I still wasn’t used to this kind of distance between us.

Could eight years really change things so much? Make him change so much? Make me change so much? Make us change so much?

Maybe things were really meant to change. Our relationship was not an exception. I just wasn’t accepting. I wasn’t prepared and I didn’t think I could ever be.

These things played on my mind like lullabies sounding from an old music box. I was not aware of how and when I fell asleep while waiting for Crosse to come back.

When I entered the world of dreams, his frigid kiss replayed on my mind. It was followed by another memory we shared from long ago.

I began to reminisce.

When Crosse was twelve and I was eleven, we agreed to meet at the park after school. He arrived earlier than I did. He was sitting on the rusty swing, holding his sketchpad and pencil.

"Crosse-kun!"

"Ayane-chan!"

I skipped my way to him, humming a jolly tune. I looked over to his sketchpad, "Wow!" I exclaimed upon the sight of his masterpiece. Everything from the pencil shades to the design of the house looked stunning. "A new one!"

"Nah, it's still the old one. I just made it more realistic, that's all," Crosse replied with a proud smile, pointing at his sketch. "Look, this house has a white picket fence, a garden over here with hundreds of roses – you like flowers, right? It has an antique two-seater oak swing on the porch overlooking the sea. Ah, you'll love breathing in the fresh air there for sure! Inside, there's a nice, cozy, and living room where you can warm up near the fire, a modern kitchen ideal for baking because you like sweets and cakes, and oh, our room will be here on this side. Our window will have the best view of the sea…"

"W…Wait," I interrupted. "Us?"

He shrugged, looking as naive as he could be when he said these words, "We're going to marry in the future, right?"

"Marry?!"

"So I thought that it would be a good idea to plan our house as early as now. When I grow up and earn money for myself, I’m gonna make you this house."