hooked // harry hook

chapter seventeen - back to school

Harry and I walked down the hallway, lugging our suitcases back to our rooms. We had finally arrived back at school from our beach getaway. It was pretty successful. Things were still a little unsteady between us, but it was nothing we couldn't handle. We were both really in love and wanted to do whatever it would take to make things work. I had a nagging feeling that he was gonna leave me, and it kept me up at night. I struggled to sleep, to get through the day without letting the anxiety get to my head.

Anxiety had been something that I had struggled to deal with since the whole thing with Jake had happened. Things ate away at me in my head and drove me crazy. For a while, social situations, testing, anything remotely stressful became way too much for me. I got panic attacks that would leave me screaming on the floor. I hadn't had one in so long, not since I started at Auradon Prep. Things were different here. Yeah, school was hard and we had testing and all that normal stuff, but things here were really great. Everyone supported each other and there really wasn't much on the drama front.

I quickly forgot all about Jake and all of the shit that plagued me from life at home and reinvented myself. Now with what had happened with Harry, those feelings were starting to creep up again. That uncertainty was beginning to pull at me. I walked into my room quietly, Harry following behind me. I began to unpack, putting my things where they belonged and tidying up my room. "Something's up with you. What's going on?" asked Harry, passing me my things as I put them away. "Nothing. I'm fine." I shrugged. "Love, tell me what's going on. You get so in your head sometimes, you don't even realize." he sighed.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said flatly, zipping up the empty suitcase and sliding it under my bed. "You haven't said a word since we left the airport." he noted, raising an eyebrow. I sighed and sat down next to him, running my hands through my hair. "I'm just a little tired. I haven't been getting much sleep lately." I admitted, looking down at my lap. He kissed the side of my head before taking my hand. "I didn't want to do this to you." he mumbled, squeezing my hand. "It's not just you. It's just everything in my life right now is overwhelming." I said, scratching the back of my head.

"Well, you don't have to worry about me or us. We're working though it." he smiled, wrapping his arm around me. "I'm gonna go catch up with Evie. You should go unpack." I mumbled, standing up and grabbing my keys. He raised an eyebrow and nodded, following me outside and walking to his room. I headed over to Evie's, her door open as usual. "Have some time for a late night customer?" I joked, knocking on the door. She turned from the sewing table and smiled widely. "Vee! You're back." she giggled, jumping up and hugging me tightly. "How was break?" I asked, sitting on her small couch. "Pretty uneventful." she shrugged, sitting back on her chair and continuing to sew.

"Oh, actually!" she exclaimed, stopping what she was doing and turning to me. "Jay and Lonnie decided to just be friends." she said, biting her lip. "Oh, wow, are they okay?" I asked, crossing my arms. She sighed and shook her head. "I think it was more Lonnie's idea. I think Jay is having a pretty hard time with it." she noted. "Poor Jay. Has anyone talked to him?" I wondered, hugging a pillow and laying my chin on the top of it. "To be honest, no one has really tried. He's really in his head about the huge fencing match next week. I think there's also a tourney game?" she said with a shrug. "Jay's gonna explode with all this pressure." I mumbled, biting my lip. She nodded and turned back to the sewing machine.

"So, how was the beach? Romantic?" she asked. I sighed and sat back against her couch, throwing my head back and staring at her ceiling. "Evie, shit went down." I groaned. "What happened?" she wondered, finishing the pants she was working on and putting them to the side. "I woke up in the middle of the night to Harry packing like a maniac. He was making up all kinds of excuses, saying he couldn't do it anymore. Honestly, I think he just got really anxious and freaked." I mumbled, scratching my arm and looking down. Her eyes widened as she listened to me. "So I start freaking out and crying like a loser, I tell him all of this personal shit, and then he feels super bad. We're at a good place right now, I just have a hard time trusting him. I barely sleep/eat, and I want to cry all the time." I admitted , crossing my arms over the pillow and hiding my face.

"Oh no, Vee. That's awful, I'm so sorry." she said, wrapping her arm around me. "I just feel like I've given him so much, and like all I can think about is what would've happened if he had left." I sighed, looking at her. "If he hurts you, I'll kill him." she joked, laying her head against mine. "So, how's your clothing empire going?" I asked, taking a deep breath. "It's getting there. Things were a little slow because so many people flew home, but I have tons of orders for the spring dance." she said excitedly. "Add one more?" I asked with a giggle. She nodded enthusiastically. "I have a look in mind for you." she smirked, crossing her arms. "You're literally the best." I laughed, standing from her couch. I gave her a goodbye hug before walking off to find Jay.

I hand't seen him since before I left and I felt bad that he was going through such a rough time. I knocked at him and Carlos' door. There was no answer, but the door was half open. I peeked through and saw Jay on the floor, staring at the TV lifelessly with a bottle in his hand. I quickly closed the door behind me and ran over, sitting down in front of him. "Jay, are you okay?" I asked, putting the almost empty bottle to the side. He blinked in confusion, staring at me as I tried to pick him up. "Vee, you're b-back." he slurred, laughing as I tried to pull him up from the floor. I finally got him to stand and struggled to walk him over to the bed. Just as we were about to make it, he fell next to me and dragged me down with him.

"Jay, please." I groaned, grabbing his arm and dragging him next to the bed. I sat him up against the bed frame and plopped down next to him. "What is going on with you?" I asked, his head bobbing from side to side as he groaned. "You." he mumbled, looking at me. "What are you talking about?" I asked, crossing my arms. He smashed his lips against mine, taking me by surprise. I immediately pulled away and stood, walking out of the room. This was bringing back too many memories. This was too much for me. I waited outside of his room until Carlos got back, told him what was happening, and went back to my room. I ran straight to Harry's dorm, it was my first instinct. I barged in, on the brink of tears. He sat at his desk, wearing his favorite sweatpants and writing.

"What's wrong, love?" he asked, standing from the desk and walking over to me. I wrapped my arms around him and immediately began to cry. He shushed me as I cried, locking his arms around me and rubbing my back. "I love you." I mumbled into his shoulder, sniffling and hugging him tighter. "I know." he said, kissing my neck and running his fingers through my hair. I pulled away from the hug and wiped away at my eyes, sitting down on the edge of his bed. "We're okay." I said, looking up at him with a small smile. He took my face in his hands and nodded, rubbing my cheek with his thumb. "We'll always be okay." he said, kissing the top of my head.