"H-?"
"Are you a cigarette? Because you could light me up anytime."
"Do you know how cancerous cigarettes are? Do you know how many people die a year because of them?"
"Um...a lot?
"Yes, a lot. That's a horrible pick up line. So no, I'm not a cigarette. Because if I was I'd be a killer."
"You really do like dramatics."
"I'm in drama at school. What can I say?"
"What school do you go to?"
"..."
"Hello?"
"I just realized I'm talking to a complete stranger."
"I'm not a complete stranger. I mean...you know my little brother's name and age."
"Yet I don't know your name and age? For all, I know you're some forty-year-old man named...Bob. or Steven. Or... Gerald."
"I take offense to the last name given."
"Oh god is your name Gerald?"
"No, but my grandpa's name is Gerald. And if it makes you feel any better, I'm 17 and my name is..."
"Is...?"
"Barry."
"Barry? It sounds like such a common name-yet I don't think I've met someone with that name."
"Alrighty. I've told you both my name and age. What's yours?"
"No."
"No?"
"Yes."
"Wait, so yes?"
"No, not yes. Yes on no."
"What!?"
"I'm not telling you my name."
"What? Why not!"
"Because you might say you're a 17-year-old boy named Barry. But how do I know that you aren't lying?"
"I'm not! Do I sound like a forty-year-old man!?"
"To be completely honest? I can't tell. Your voice is kind of grainy."
"Yours is too. I thought it was just my phone getting bad reception. But now that I think about it...your voice has been grainy on ALL the phone calls. Why?"
"I don't know. Bad reception like you said, I suppose"
"I guess. Now back to the whole name and age business. How can I prove to you I'm a 17-year-old guy named Barry?"
"Birth certificate. And social security number."
"What!? Are you crazy!"
"Yes."
"...Well, at least you didn't deny it."
"Hey! What the hell do you think you're
doing here? Get out!"
"What was that?"
"Uh...Gotta go!"
"Wait you never told me your name!"
"-"
"And...she hung up."
YOU ARE READING
Pick Me Up
Algemene fictie"You can call me Nemo, because I'm not afraid to touch the butt." "Excuse me?" "I see London, I see France, now let me see in your underpants." "Listen here you little piece of-" "I heard you're a Gryffinwhore because you let all the wizards Slyther...
