Philidosia

The Only Child

"No!" Theo screams as her dad holds her wrist and pulls her down the sidewalk to their house, three blocks down the road. "It's not fair! Let me go! I'm going back over, there. Let me go!"

"Don't tell me what to do, young lady." Theo instantly shuts up Aaron's piercing voice. She stops resisting, and awkwardly walks beside him, glad when he realizes the tight grip on her wrist. She looks around at the darkening sky. She had probably only been at the Hamilton's house for an hour, hour and a half at the most. By the looks of how low the sun is sinking in the sky, it is around 8:00 at night. All the houses the two pass portray life; lights in the window, footsteps heard from outside the door, the murmuring of muffled conversation. Theo's head falls as she wonders if anyone can see them, two shapes, one twice as tall as the other, sulking down the sidewalk at an extremely fast pace at a late time of day. Even in the gloominess of the fall evening, one look at Aaron and Theo can see his clenched jaw and narrow eyes. He is angry. Something her father is very rarely. And she can only imagine how scared she looks, her big brown eyes wondering what her father will do next. Not that Theo is afraid her father will hurt her; he never does. He is a gentle giant. Theo is afraid what her father will do if they run across someone in the street. That would be a different story.

There house comes into view. A humble place with white walls and a small, brown front door, their home is three-stories tall, but not nearly as big as the Hamiltons' house. There are three bedrooms. Theo, being an only child, has her own room upstairs. The master bedroom is upstairs as well, but quite aways down the hall. The guest bedroom is downstairs, along with the kitchen, dining room, sitting room, and music room. The upstairs consists of the two bedrooms, a laundry room, the music room, two bathrooms, her father's office, and an empty room Theo's mom has started decorating, although Theo doesn't know what it's for. The third floor is the servant's rooms. The Burrs have two servants, Miss Mary and Mr. Sam. They are siblings, and are orphans as well.

Aaron storms up the three steps to the porch, and throws the door open. Theo hurries after him, her skirts dragging in the dirt. Her mother will be mad at her and make her wash the dress instead of Miss Mary. Theo shakes the thought away. She has more important things to worry about.

Theodosia is in the sitting room, talking casually to their neighbor, Mrs. Carterson. When the two women see the disheveled Aaron throwing the door open and, without a second glance at the two in the sitting room, all but run up the stairs, they share a look and Mrs. Carterson grabs her purse and hurries out the door, stepping around Theo standing awestruck in the middle of the doorway.

She feels her mother's arms around her before she even sees Theodosia rush to her. Theo buries her head in her mother's thin shoulders and tries to control the tears, but before long both Theo and Theodosia's dresses are wet. Theodosia strokes her daughter's hair and murmurs to her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. After Theo collects herself and wipes her eyes with a balled fist, Theodosia looks down at her daughter. "What happened?" is all she says.

The two sit down as Theo spills all the events that had happened that evening. Theodosia listens thoughtfully, nodding every once and awhile. Theo tells of Angie, being more cruel than usual, but pleasantly quiet, and of Philip listening to her song and applauding it, and of Eliza giving them cookies and milk and playing them a masterful piece on the piano. Theo pauses. "Then, I heard yelling from Alexander's office, and Father stormed out with a scowl on his face. He grabbed my arm and was quite rude to Eliza as we left. I never even got to say goodbye to Philip! It was horrible. Father just came and ruined my entire evening. I was having such fun and he comes and ruins it all."

Theodosia, biting her lip, takes in all her daughter had said. "Don't be mad at him, deary," she says finally.  "He has been very stressed the last few weeks, and Alexander probably crossed the line one too many times and your father was fed up with it." Theodosia touches her Theo's cheek with a gentle, smooth hand. "Are you still angry with him?"

After a long minute of searching her mother's face, Theo answers truthfully. "No, I am not angry with him. I feel bad for him. I wish there was something I could do to make him happy again."

Aaron, who has been sitting at the top of the stairs out of sight, rubbing his hands together and pondering what he should do next, smiles Theo's words. The only thing I need to be happy is my two Theodosias, he thinks, but the sentence in his head wipes the smile from his face. But what if I lose one? Taking one last glance at his dear daughter and wife, Aaron stands up and walks down the hall to his office. Grabbing a quill and a piece of paper, he sits down and writes. "Dear Alexander..."

* * * 

Later that night, Miss Mary helps Theo undress and get ready for bed. Theo talks the entire time, rambling on and on about the terrible evening. Mary, a eighteen year old girl who had lost both of her parents on the same day when she was eleven and experienced more pain in her young life that most people will ever, couldn't seem to see what the young Theodosia was so upset about. "Is there anything I can do for you, miss? To make you feel better?" Mary asks as she stands behind Theo sitting on the bench in front of the vanity mirror and brushes her curly hair. 

Theo shakes her head slightly. "Thank you, Miss Mary, but I don't think you understand."

Mary, never one to deny the truth, nods. "You're right, I don't understand. Would you like me to get your mother? She could talk to you, and she understands much more than me." Theo shakes her head again, and looks at Mary in the mirror.

"I already spoke to her," Theodosia sighs sadly. Mary gives her a worried look, putting the brush down. Without thinking, Mary wraps the younger girl in a giant hug. Theo is stiff for a minute, surprised at the kind gesture from her mother's servant, but then she seems to melt into Mary's arms. "Thank you, Mary," she whispers, and closes her eyes. Mary looks at her once, then leaves the room, quietly latching the door.

Ten minutes later, after curling under the blankets and turning off the light, Theo waits patiently for her mother to come tuck her in. She already retrieved the book Theodosia reads to her at night from the bookshelf, and it was resting on the bedside table. Staring up at the ceiling, Theo twitches impatiently and hums a made up tune to herself to try and fill the heavy silence in her room. Finally, to her relief, there are footsteps in the hallway, and the door squeaks open.

It is not Theodosia but Aaron who stands there, still in his suit and tie and shiny black shoes. His eyes are tired and deep lines of worry crease his forehead. He looks significantly older. Theo is surprised, and doesn't know what to say as her dad pulls the bench from underneath the vanity mirror and brings it near her bed. Theo briefly thinks it would be a good idea to pretend she is already asleep, but Aaron has already seen her wide brown eyes following him around the room.

Sitting on the bench, Aaron searches for words to say to Theo. He is speechless. Finally, he leans down and grabs his daughter's hand.

"Theo, I'm sorry," he stampers. "I acted really immature and impulsive. And I was being really selfish. I'm sorry. I should never have let Mr. Hamilton get to me like that." 

Theo squeezes his hand and smiles warmly. "I forgive you, Dad."

Aaron swallows. "I have something to tell you."

"Yes?"

"You know the empty room--"

"The one Mom is decorating? She doesn't let me in there, you know."

"Yes, that one. Your mother is decorating it for a reason, Theo."

"What are you saying?" 

"It is going to be a nursery."

"...what?"

"You're going to be a big sister, Theo!"