Katniss and Peeta's future

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Chapter 45:

I could see lights above my head. A doctor looked me in the eyes. "You ok?" She asks. I nod slowly. I start seeing clear again and I could see Peeta sitting on a chair in the room I was in. He was in the same position from when he found out what he did. His blond head was down in his hands and I couldn't tell if he was talking to himself or crying. The doctor whispers something in his ear and then she leaves. Peeta raises his head and looked at me. He walked closer to me and I saw that his eyes were red and puffy. His face also had tear stains. I still sometimes hold a grudge against the capitol for doing this to him. For hijacking his brain. Peeta's last episode was five years ago. What happened? What triggered it? He just stands there looking at me. Not even daring to touch me. "I'm so sorry." His voice breaks. "It's not your fault." I say soothingly. "Yes it is. I did this to you. I broke my promise of saying that I would never hurt you. It's all my fault." "Peeta." I tried reaching for his hand but he pulled back. "No. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I'm a horrible person." He turns his back on me and sits back down on the chair. Peeta looks out the window. "Katniss, you being with me is hell." He whispers. I shook my head. "No Peeta don't say that!" i say. "I could have killed you. If I had killed you, I wouldn't be able to live with myself." He took a deep breath and sighed.