Letters to Her

Letter One

Letter One

You acted kind of weird today. We didn't talk as much as we used to. I don't know if you know this, but I suddenly get worried if people don't talk to me for a day. I always feel like they like someone else better than me, which, right now, I don't think is the case.

I like our friendship and the way it works and all, but I don't like how you spend so much time with //her//. If you don't like //her//,  why spend/waste your time with her?

Back to our friendship. I like how it we write notes to each other in second hour because that's the only class we don't have together, then handing them to each other in 3rd. In 4ht hour, that's where I thought you were acting weird. You weren't talking to me much, but I think that you're just worried because of our teacher, which I TOTALLY understand. The rest of the day, you hang with //her// and it makes me really sad to see you with someone you don't even like. It makes me sad to know that your unhappy and cant be happy again.

Then, when school is over, we go on Facebook and talk on there. You tell me everything. You are the best person ever on Facebook.

I wish I could start over. I just wish that me and you could be friends, just the two of us, the way you and //her// display. I wish that we could be friends in school without //her// getting jealous. But, that being said, I like our friendship the way it is know. in a weird way, its quite perfect.

The thing is, that I think you are the bestest friend anybody could ever ask for. I don't know hwy, but I can trust you more than anybody I've ever met.I feel like you care. You listen. and you give good advise. You help.

You have helped me so much this year. Where have you been for the past three (or more) years? I wish we met when I was that awkward loner who picked the wrong people as friends.

There I go again, crying. I cant count how many times I cried myself to sleep this year. mostly because I don't know who I even am anymore, I feel like some bisexual freak who cant seem to choose any good friends.

Sometimes I even cry because of you. I cry because you are the best thing that's happened to me and thinking of you with somebody else just makes me sad. Just thinking of you having any other friends than me makes me sad. But sometimes I cheer myself up by thinking of you, and how much you have helped me.

But the thing is, I don't even know how I like you. I don't mean like "ew how can I like you ugh" I mean "Do I like her, or are we just friends?" sorta thing. Its really hard and confusing for me, because you have helped me so much that I can almost think of you as a crush, but then I don't want to like you like a crush because then I will most likely get devastated or heart broken.

I get jealous easily too. Before when you had two friends that you liked better than me, I got really mad and that's when I started realizing that I don't have anybody that would chosoe me over someone else. But that's when I asked that question, the question that kind of made me extremely happy.

Do you like me or //her// better?

You remember what you said, don't you? You said me. Me. That made me feel so much better up until now. now im just realizing all the crap that had hit the fan in this past year.

I wont make this too long, but just so you know..

You saved me.