Letters to Her

Letter Three

Letter Three

//she// moved next to us in math, as you know. //she// is hurting you. i dont know how she doesn't see that.

I know i have said it before, that I wish it was just you and me. Best friends, nobody else. But the thing is that I don't know if you would still like me after you spent so much time with me. I don't even like me, how can I expect you to?

You're the only person that knows the most about me, the couple things you don't know aren't big deals, and you don't ask, like if I'm okay or if I ever cut. I'm not calling you out if you are, I'm just saying you don't ask because I don't show a sign about it. It's fine. I don't want to talk about it really, but if I had to it would be with you.

I started thinking of my old school and "friends" that I left behind. I didn't tell the people i actually wanted to talk to that I was moving so i never got their number and now they are gone. I don't even want to talk to them, I just want to know whats going on. They weren't that great to begin with.

In choir I started tearing up because of this reason ; I miss old "friends" but they wouldn't like me anyways. the one person I liked said they weren't into gays, so there's someone I thought I could've been with, but then couldn't.

I don't see what the big deal is, being gay. Like your talking to one right now and you like me but if I was gay you wouldn't? I just don't understand. That's why I don't like //her.//

Do you know why I want to cut? It's because I want the attention. Not fake attention, just some sort of attention. But if I cut anymore, I still wouldn't tell people because things get around. People suck. It's so weird.

I just need someone.

I don't know if you will ever understand my feelings in these notes, but I'm trying the best I can.

Much love, ♡