letter 14
i dont know what to think anymore. im just figuring myself out right now. i cant deal with liking people because i just dont know who to even say i like. by that, i mean boys or girls. like this all could change in 2 years. i dont want to be changing my mind and then people being all confused.
i just dont want to be alive right now even, its just so hard. all i ever do is think anymore.
sometimes i think about us, and what we would become together.
sometimes i think about dating guys.
most of the time, though, i think about suicide.
im just done thinking, altogether. all i ever do anymore is watch youtube because nobody talks to me and it just makes me even sadder because i will never meet them. i would rather die than never meet any of my favorite youtubers. im serious.
all im saying is that i just dont know who i am right now. i dont have the time to worry about dating. i dont have e energy. i dont have the thought process.
i dont have the life in me anymore.
its been sucked out by depression.
im just done.
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