Letters to Her

letter 16

since school has started, we have ben talking again. not like we used to, but talking.

a lot of people that talked to me over the summer haven't said a word to me since school started.

i was bawling today because one of my best friends almost killed herself yesterday. she didnt, and i cant be more thankful for that but what i was mainly crying about was the fact that i wasnt there to help her. i was asleep. she couldve killed herself and i couldnt have saved her. thats why i was crying. it makes me so mad.

i wish i couldve gone through with swallowing pills, like she did. she puked them up one or two mins later. i wish i could just end this nightmare.

you may think my life is good, that everyone likes me but no. everyone likes the idea of me. the real me is a depressing pile of feelings that nobody wants to be around because it just brings them down. so therefore, they dont like me, they like what i act like.

all these people in my class now are all so fake. why think they are better than everyone else, they think they are smarter and or more superior to everyone else. its annoying. i feel pressured as soon as i walk into school. i feel like they all look at me, in their perfect bodies, just judging me. im sure they dont, but i cant help but think that. how could i not when im as fat as i am?

why would people like me? ive been asking myself that for a long time now.

i dont even like me, why should other people?

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thank you all for 100+ reads (: means a lot. tell people about it if you like, or not thats cool too. its ur life do what you want