Letters to Her

Letter Two

BEFORE I GET STARTED, I JUST WANT TO SAY SOME THINGS:

first, I wont be putting authors note in all of the chapters. only when I have news or something. second: I'm not going to make a update date bc I don't know when ill be able to update.

ok I'm done

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Letter Two

Today was confusing. My days lately have been confusing.

Its a Saturday, so we don't have school. I don't know why but I feel like you don't like me anymore. We didn't talk at all last night, you said you were cleaning and when you were done I texted you and you didn't respond but you read it at 8:00 am. You didn't reply or anything, so I started a conversation and asked who your best friend was.

You told me that you didn't have one. After that I felt kind of weird because you are my best friend, the person who I choose before anyone else, because like I said in my last letter, I trust you and all that.

You don't talk to me as much as we used to. I'm not sure why. I miss you. you have been acting weird, not talking as much and you don't chat on Facebook with me that often. I don't know if you're tired of me, or if you finally find why I'm a weird and totally bad person, or what but I wish you would talk to me.

I miss you. I want you back, the real you.

This isn't you..

Like I said, I get jealous easily. When you were hanging out with your sister today even I felt jealous. Your sister.

I haven't really had a "best friend" in forever an when you came along I felt special, like you kept me safe and all that cheesy stuff.

Then I started thinking if it was because I haven't told my parents I was bi yet, and you did. you made me pinky promise that I would tell them this week, I have one more day left to do so and I feel like that's the reason. But if that is the reason, its kind of a stupid reason to be mad. Its not that easy to say "I'm bi". I cant do it like you did it, because our families work differently. I want to tell her before I go to bed, but I don't want to get into this whole thing at like 10:30.

Today I started to clean my room. I found a pencil sharpener. Guess what else I found?  A mini screwdriver. don't know why I have that, but it fit perfectly with the screws in the sharpener.

I couldn't take it anymore. I needed some form of release. This wasn't totally because of you. I t was because I don't know what I have become. I'm too scared to tell my own parents who I really am. My best friend dosent like me anymore (maybe), and my life has become a disaster. I just needed to do it.

I only made a couple, but each of them was for a couple things. I didn't even cry though. I feel like I'm out of tears. I have cried so much that nothing really phases me enough to cry.

I wish you would tell me why you hate me.

I miss you.

I want you back.

Much love, ♡