The Doctor Said by Chloe Adams
Mind over matter, right? I suppose that's the key to happiness, or so they say. People will tell you to keep your head up and talk about your problems, but the thing they don't really understand is sometimes there's just nothing to talk about. You can't exactly explain why you can't get out of bed and haven't had the energy to brush your hair. They tell you that you need pills, therapy, doctor's appointments, friends, blah blah blah. For some they work, but for others it makes us feel like zombies. Like we aren't actually living.
They tell me I should sleep more when they see the bags under my eyes as if I choose to stay awake at ungodly hours of the night. Three meals a day they say, but do they realize you simply don't have the stomach for it?
I have nothing to complain about in reality. My life really isn't that shitty. I come home to the one I love every night and he makes me laugh until my belly hurts, but when the lights are turned out I'm left alone with my thoughts. The darkness and sadness grazes my skin like hungry wolves, tugging and tearing at me until I feel lifeless. It comes and goes as it pleases with no warning at all. I'm not afraid of it, though I should be. I just grit my teeth and bare it.
I wear a mask through it all. I smile, laugh, and joke like a normal human being. I'm kind of glad for the mask. I don't want pity or to be treated like damaged goods. I just want normal. Is that too much to ask?
YOU ARE READING
Alis Volat propiis
Non-FictionAlis Volat Propiis All around me my friends knew who they wanted to be and who they were now. They knew what they wanted to go to college for and where. I, however, was stuck wondering what I wanted to be. The summer of my sophomore year and I was...
