Alis Volat propiis

Chapter 32

Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift

Isn't it strange how one minute you're feeling bliss, and the next your in such anguish that you shut down completely?
I'm not even sure what happened. My Dad and I haven't talked in months. He got back together with my step mom and she made him choose either me, or her. Obviously he chose her and I haven't heard from him since. I'm no longer allowed to see my siblings due to my step mom's hate for me. Why does she hate me, you ask? It's all due to the fact I resemble my mother. Stupid, I know.
Yesterday started out as normal as any other day. I did my Sunday cleaning, I went for a run with the dog, everything was perfect. Then I receive a message from my dad. It said, "I love you mouse," my breath caught in my throat and I begin to hyperventilate. After so long of him and everyone turning their backs on me and making me out to be the enemy, I get a text out of the blue saying he loves me? I don't respond because I simply can't handle it. Not today.
An hour later, I get a call from my brother. His voice is shaky and weak. "I don't know what's going on, there was telling and then the cops and oh my God..." he breaks off as he begins to sob. My heart begins to race a mile a minute.
"Slow down, what are you talking about? Are you ok? Where's dad?" I say in a panic.
He's quite for a moment, "I think dad's dead mick. He shot himself."
My head begins to spin and I think I'm going to vomit. I hang up the phone as if nothing happened. I wrap my arms around myself and begin to rock back and forth while muttering, "no, no, no, no," on repeat. Just then Alex walks through the door from work and I look up at him with tears in my eyes. "My dad shot himself," I say and then I'm in his arms. He holds me so tight I feel as though his skin is apart of my own. I guess I began to scream and sob because Becky runs into the room and Alex whispers to her what had happened.
I call my sister, then my brother, then my grandpa, but no one will answer. Finally I call my aunt and tell her what happened and she rushes over to my house with my grandma. I finally get ahold of my sister and she becomes frantic. My uncle is a police officer so we call him and he's already on the scene. My uncle wasn't sure yet if he was dead, because he couldn't get into the house.
We all meet up at my grandma's and play the waiting game. No one knows what's going to happen.
The cops barricaded my dad's house and blocked off the road so no one could get through. My sister some how got through and sits to talk with everyone to find out what happened.
My dad didn't have a job and my step mom was tired of him being lazy and not helping out. So she told him to get out. He then went to grab my brother and my brother refused and said he was staying with my step mom. From there, it escalated. My dad then locked himself in his room and when my step mom finally got the door unlocked, he was sitting in a chair with a gun in his hand. My step mom told him to put the gun away and then he pointed it at her. She then slapped him across the face and then he punched her, giving her an instant black eye.
"You need to get out of here and call the cops. I'm not going to kill myself, but they will," he said. My brother said from there he hears yelling and screaming and then him and the other kids were told to get outside. Before they knew it, a dozen cops showed up and everyone was escorted off the scene. Dad still had himself locked up in the bedroom. My grandpa called him to talk him out of it but my dad refused.
"Don't be stupid, you have kids!" My grandpa pleaded.
"Mickey doesn't need me, chelsey has bipolar because of me, and pj has people to take care of him," he then hung up.
A gun shot was fired, and for an hour no one knew if he was dead or alive. Officers couldn't go in to the house because he had a weapon. Finally, he came out with his hands up and surrendered.
Now I don't know what is to become of my dad or my brother. It all has my head so filled to the brim. I just don't understand and I wish I did. I wish he had known that I do need him. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss my dad, even if he doesn't want to have a relationship with me. Life has been so crazy these past few days and I wish things would go back to normal, but I suppose life has other plans for me.