She's Grey

Chapter Eleven

Once we arrived to our destination, I immediately recognized it. It was the meadow where we used to always picnic with our families as children. The trees stretched high as far as the eyes could see and dusk was slowly approaching over it all.

Finally parked, he got out and opened my door for me before going to the trunk. As soon as he came back around to the front my breath hitched in my chest and my heart jumped. There he was standing in front of me holding a lovely white picnic basket and a bouquet of pink peonies lying on top. A white blanket was rolled up under his other arm as he reached out that hand to hold mine.

I let him take my hand, in a daze. This was for me?

On our walk through the forest to the clearing, we were both silent, just taking in the beauty of nature and all it's musical sounds. I enjoyed this walk and the way my hand felt in his. This was how we were meant to be. Sometimes we'd catch each other's eye and when we did he'd lean over and lightly brush his lips on my cheek or nose. This was my first time seeing this romantic side of Alexander and I loved it.

We had dinner in the meadow as we talked about life and the world. He gave me insight about college and how I should only go if I knew for sure what I wanted to do. I told him dance was my passion but he told me I could do more and to look deeper. When him and his family lived with my family he always gave me insight... like a big brother. Except that I had a crush on him all my life so not my older brother. We laughed about everything and just enjoyed one another's company.

"Are you thinking about joining a frat house this year?" I asked him, gazing up in his eyes as I laid my chin on his chest.

He chuckled. "No I like the parties but no.. it's not for me. I only have two brothers and their in Florida."

I laughed. "You know, actually I think Cameron joined one."

"Without Carlos?" Alexander feigned bewilderment.

"Yes. Indeed." I giggled until it slowly faded and there was only silence. We gazed at one another without saying words and just using our eyes to speak all the things we wanted to say. Our eyes were the secret passageway to our souls which only we could navigate through. I love him. I love him. I have loved him and I always will. And when he looked at me like that and when he touched me like that, strong and steady massages, and when he did things like taking me on a meaningful picnic to bring back our youth and baking for me... I just fell deeper into him.

But he had someone. Or at least I assumed.

"Alexander—"

"She's only a friend. I needed to get a reaction out of you. You've never been honest with me or yourself."

"No." I defended.

"Ya."

"No. Alexander, I never lied. You just never asked or showed any interest. And when I went to every one of your football games and when I sent you off to prom... taking pictures of you and your date... when I joined the cheer team all because I saw how much you liked cheerleaders and when I'd do homework and ask my teachers for extra homework all so you can tutor me... I did it because I just wanted your attention... but you always treated me like your little sister. Always. When you were with your friends you would send me away. When I wanted to take pictures with you in your suit for prom you sent me away. When I went to your football games you never came over to the stands and I was always put on the back burner. You've never considered the way I felt. You've never cared. And when I started growing up and guys and men began to approach me, suddenly you want to show interest but I was too far gone. I went out on dates, I partied... I was finally living my life instead of being your shadow. I wasn't Alex's little sis or the Garcia's little girl anymore. I was finally Lina. So no, I never lied to myself or you but you've finally taken your head out of your ass to see what's been right in front of you."

With that I shut my mouth and just stared at him, the moonlight glinting off the sweat on his hairline, sliding down the curly cue of his side burn. Tears began to fill my eyes as all the built up emotions rushed out and slowly one tear fell down my cheek onto his Adam's apple. My chest moved up and down with his as we breathed and I just let the tears roll. To my astonishment, tears began to fill his eyes and the way the gold in his eyes glowed, when he cried, made my heart shutter.

"Alex!" My body suddenly goes cold, seeing his unmoving body splayed out on the field, face down in the turf.

I am the first running down the bleachers and into the field, our families following close behind. I sprint across the field fighting against his teammates and coaches to get through until I am right there with him, kneeling down beside him. "Alex." His face tilts up and I notice the gold flecks in his eyes are bright. They are only ever this bright when he is in pain. I knew the tears were coming but I knew he's fighting them. If he cried he'd be ashamed. I stared into those bright eyes of his. "What's hurting you?!"

That was when he passed out and we had to take him to the emergency room. That was the last game of his senior year and he suffered an injury to his lower back. He had a full ride to Ohio State University but his injury took him out for good. And he knew it... in that moment when he looked in my eyes, he knew he would never play again.

Now his eyes burned that same gold with the realization that he had been slowly but surely breaking my heart all these years.

"You've always been everything to me Alex."

I felt his chest shudder underneath me. His arms soon enveloped me and pulled me close to his chest as he kissed every part of my face, a silent apology.

"I love you, Lina."

"I've always loved you." I whispered.

"I love you as my girl, not just the little girl that I grew up with, not as my sister, not as my best friend. I love you as my girl." He told me.

And then his lips were on mine and we rolled until he was on top of me, tongue and lips meshing together. His hand trailed down the length of my bare leg and back up until it slowly crept under my knee length dress. My dress hitched up as his fingers slowly massaged my inner thigh. His hand squeezed tight around my thigh as he began trailing kisses down my jaw and neck. "I love you... as my women..."

His hand was right there in the place I've never been touched before and I wanted him so bad, my body was yearning for him like it's had him already and it knew what it was all about. My legs opened for him, my body responding but when his eyes looked up into mine, he knew I wasn't ready and we weren't prepared. He knew just the way I always talked about my wedding being the most special day, I also wanted my first time to be. This was special but I was just getting use to his hands and his lips. I needed time.

"Let's get you back home Lily pad." He said and with that we went.