Ghost of You

Five

Stevie was sat alone in the waiting room of the doctors, she'd decided to just come and get her fears put to rest, she'd decided to leave Lindsey out of it, she couldn't handle looking at the disappointment on his face when she was told there still wasn't a baby. She fiddled with her fingers in her lap, not wanting to make eye contact with the glowing pregnant women in the room. They looked so happy and if she were honest with herself, she was jealous. She wanted that too. The moment her name was called, it felt like both a relief and a burden. Going into this exam room, would be the moment of truth.

"Good morning Stephanie...is your husband not coming today?" The doctor asked politely sitting down

"No...he umm...he had to work today, he couldn't make it." She smiled nervously.

"Well, that's alright then. We can just do a little write up for him. Try to relax, we will do the urine sample, the pelvic exam and lastly, an ultrasound. Have you been keeping to the regimen set up by the previous doctor?"

"Mostly, yes. With moving, there have been...changes."

"What sort of changes?"

"I...I've missed a couple of my shots."

"Okay, but you do understand that it is very difficult for you to get pregnant without those? You're body isn't as fertile as most women." Stevie started to cry, him having just upset her greatly.

"I'm not saying this to upset you, I just need you to know that it could hinder your progress." He handed her a sample cup and had her go into the bathroom as he spoke with the technician outside. When she came out, the technician smiled warmly and she did feel a bit better. The doctor instructed her to prepare for the waist down portion of the exam and she wasn't thrilled. She closed her eyes, hoping to get it over with quickly. Her mind went to a baby...hers and Lindsey's baby, and it suddenly made it all worth it, it was over before she knew it, pulling her clothes back on, she was instructed to lay down on the bed

"Right! Finally the moment of truth! Ultrasound time." She was told.

She bit her lip, knowing she was preparing for another disappointment. In that moment she regret not bringing Lindsey as she would need his comfort more than ever. The technician came in and lifted her top to below her bust and spread the gel onto her stomach. It was cold and the tech smiled. "Sorry" The doctor left the room, getting the results from the urine sample. The technician flicked on the screen and began moving the transducer about, checking her Fallopian tubes, her ovaries and finally the state of her womb. The technician's expression didn't change. There was a knock and the doctor came back into the room with the results in his hands. Stevie was already on the verge of tears as she saw his face was creased with concern.

Lindsey opened the door to his home quite late again, it had been a tough day at work, he just wanted to spend some time with his wife, leaving his shoes and briefcase on the side he went into the living room

"Steph?" He called out and found her in his chair by the window, she looked up at him and broke down into a loud heavy sob.

"Angel, what's wrong?" he asked. He reached out to touch her and she suddenly clung to him, wrapping her arms around him tightly. "Stevie..."

After several long minutes, she had calmed down just enough to try to speak. "I...I went to the doctor today."

"Honey, you could have told me. You know I'd drop everything for you."

"I didn't want to see the look on your face..." she sobbed again and he held her tightly

"Baby it's okay, it didn't work this time like we hoped, but we can try again! And next time might be the one!" He could feel himself starting to cry with sadness too