Let Me Love You

Chapter 16

So before i end this story, i would like to write a dedicated apology letter to Troy, and some of my readers are aware of who he is in real life but to the ones who are not, i'm keeping him anonymous.

Dear Troy,

There is really not a day that goes by when i don't think about you and what we had and how i fucked up my chances of ever getting you back, when in reality i should have just gave you the space you needed and maybe just maybe i would have got you back after you healed a bit, i want you to know that i was willing to do anything for you, be anything you needed and i really did try my best. You were the best boyfriend i ever had, and all you did was try and get me help, i'm sorry that i put it all on you, and kept saying no so many times because in the end i believe that is why our relationship began to crumble to begin with, i was a lot more to handle than you originally thought and it all got a little too much for you and as now affected you. I know after our break up a lot of things happened and in result just made the situation worse and hurt both of us more than a normal break up and again i apologise for that. When the fake account was made i was asking one of your mates for help (the person will remain anonymous though) because i was willing to do anything to get you back, at first i didn't like the idea but the person had already made the account and set it up before actually telling me. I at the time had no idea what was being sent nor did i know the account name and when i found out that is when you called me, having an anxiety attack scared shitless the account had texted me and scared me also causing me to have an anxiety attack. The next couple of days i had an argument with that person and just as we started talking to one another again he decided to blame it all on me and tell you, just as i thought we may have been able to at least have a friendship, So i'm sorry for that. I want to thank you though, you made me a stronger person and even though i only started seeking help for my problems because i thought it would help me get you back i realised you were right, all along and i wish i listened sooner because in the end it could have saved our relationship, and maybe even saved us from having both our hearts broken. When you asked if you could have your hoodie back, i have wrote a letter every day trying to find the right words to apologise, and no amount of words are enough. You don't need to forgive me, but i want you to know you'll always have a piece of my heart and i'm really sorry that things ended the way they did i don't care if you don't believe me it's fine if you don't Thank you for some of the best memories i have ever had, and for healing parts of me, thank you for everything you ever did for me whether it be from when you were protecting me to just listening me rant about stuff. I think deep down i'm always going to care about you, no matter how much you may hate me now and i want you to know that i miss you, heaps there is really no amount of words, numbers or anything that can explain how much i miss you. Again i'm sorry things ended the way that they did but i want you to know i still love you to the moon and back and would go further if you asked.

Lucy Goodfellow