Let Me Love You

Chapter 14

Or so i thought, during his week of Exams he was overly stressed, stressed out so much that even the littlest things made him snap. It was all good when it was me around sometimes though, i kept him calm as well as Drake. But the weekend before his exams, i thought would make him forget about the busy weekend he had ahead and so, we did the usual. Even did more stuff i can clearly remember, but obviously the busy week he had ahead still was enough to be stressed. Monday on the 22nd of May my great grandfather had passed away, and after bawling my eyes out on the phone to him he ended in tears also, he hated seeing me in pain i can remember. 

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So as the week went by Wednesday came by, it was just a normal day and things were perfect. That afternoon i was getting my hair redyed and i couldn't wait to show Troy because i had been teasing him with little hints for the past week, and even though i was sad about my Grandfather's death, Troy comforted me and made all the emptiness go away, well until i came home that afternoon. After being in a mood at lunch time, he didn't want to talk to me for once, we sat there and had a cuddle and then he got up and said "i'll be back" he went for a walk to calm himself down like he always would, but this time he didn't come back. And i didn't see him again for the rest of the day. Going home that afternoon my mum dyed my hair and after about an hour or so i had my new hair colour, Blackish blue it was remotely beautiful. I went to go check my phone and i had a message from Troy on Snapchat, It was only then i was so excited to see that he finally wanted to talk to me but to only have my heart broken all over again. 

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I was home alone, my thoughts were pounding, my eyes were stained black. Mum and everyone else went for a drive to go get pizza for dinner, and as i sat on the kitchen floor bawling my eyes out, The ache i already had had been ripped open, the emptiness 2x and it was so bad that i went and unscrewed my pencil sharpeners. I hadn't cut since Troy and i got together, mainly because even though i had flashbacks, voices and bad days they became less when Troy came into my life, Now as i stare blankly at the wall breaking the promise i made to him, because it got too much. Everyone told me it would be fine, that we would get back together again he just was too stressed. Rereading those dreadful words i let the tears once again fall. I once again had fucked up a relationship, and this time it killed me and for once music seemed to worsen it all, music was our thing, and i couldn't. When mum walked through the door she stood frozen at her gaze, i was there, cuts exposed, and i looked dead. She placed the pizzas on the bench and helped me to my room, she began teary when she saw me like this, after closing my door she demanded me to tell her what was wrong. "He.. He.. He dumped me mum... I'm such a mess.. But i love him.. And i want him.. And i don't think i will ever get over him..." trailing off i broke into tears. That night was one of the most longest nights ever, holding onto his hoodie i put it on. Still smelling like him i got high off it, all i can remember that night was i didn't sleep, and didn't eat. I just layed on my bed and broke.