Let Me Love You

Chapter 10

School the next day was very weird, I don't entirely know what exactly happened but Troy was in a mood all day, as i tried to cheer him up he just asked for space, so i gave him space. Around Lunch time i gave him my love and support, as well as a few hugs. I felt like it was partly my fault he was upset a bit, but it just turned out that someone had pissed him off and he didn't want to take it out on me. So as lunch began to come to an end i had managed to calm Troy down a little bit, kissing his forehead i told him i loved him and it will be okay, as he had his headphones in i don't think he could hear me but that's okay. As the bell soon went and we headed off to our classes, i kissed him goodbye and Told him i loved him once more.

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That night we didn't really facetime, mainly as he had tutoring and so i decided to do assignments and do any needed homework, we still were texting but in a way i think he just needed some space for a bit, as the next day soon came by it was harsh, at recess Troy had asked if he could talk to me about something because i had been more sad than usual and it was affecting him "Whats up?" "I think you need help.." "What you mean?" "My mum and i can take you to your appointments if you need, but Lucy i think you need a counsellor". I was fairly annoyed, telling him about my previous counseling experiences and how i get anxiety talking to strangers about my problems i stormed off in anger and headed down to the gym. I began punching the wall and kept crying, only to be disturbed by his friend Drake after calming me down he then walked me to class, i had never been so angry over something so  peculiar before, and when Lunch came around i avoided Troy, only to be dragged by one of his friends to see him as he was bawling his eyes out, my goddamn fault. I went and comforted him and tried to calm him down, but nothing i did seemed to work. 

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 When it was home time, i had been told that Troy had gone home without saying goodbye to me and as i was upset about it, i guess he just needed some more space, only to when i had come home Troy had sent me a message saying "Can i call, i need to tell you something". My heart had begun to race, i didn't know whether this was bad or good and when my anxiety begun to kick in i answered the call. "This is gonna kill me".. He slowly began "I don't think we can do this anymore.." "Maybe we can if you get help.." "But i can't always help you as i don't understand" "I love you, but i can't.." and right then and there, my heart had torn into two. The tears dropped solemnly down my face, and i froze, speechless.