Chapter 13: Wedding Bells Take 3.0

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Today is my wedding day. It's been two months since I got divorced with Caden, Cory and Finnick. It's been less than two months since Mike asked me to marry him. 

Let's just say his proposal was like no other... It involved baby dolls raining from the sky. I won't explain it any further since it was traumatic, but I said yes to him anyway. 

What? Don't look at me like that... I was going to say yes sooner or later... And now, it has brought me to where I am today, the day that is supposed to be the best day of my life. That's what they said last time anyway.

Today was the perfect day. For once, the universe wanted me to be happy. It was a wonderful day for an outdoor wedding; it was warm, but not terribly so. The soft salty scent from the ocean filled the air. A pleasant breeze from the east rustled in the surrounding shrubs cooling off the guests and family members as they took their seats on either side of the path to the arch. The small crashing of waves added to the peaceful instrumental background sounds as the ceremony was about to begin. 

~~~

It was time. The ceremony had begun and I took a deep breath as my bridesmaids one by one, turned the corner and walked on the aisle. Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap. Third time lucky amirite?

The music stopped and everyone whipped their heads to face the far end of the walk where I would enter or exit (I don't know whether it is entering or exiting, but you get the point). The opening bridal chorus started to play. 

My grandmother was escorting me down the aisle since my dad is, well, up there watching me...

From the palm tree that he climbed earlier. He wanted to watch the wedding from a better view. 

Kidding. I don't have a dad. Everyone has a dad in the beginning, of course, but my mother was abused and then he left her, thus why I am here now- fatherless. She had a husband after that, when I was three, but he passed away in war. Poor mummy dearest. My "father" was nothing but a monstrous sperm donor. 

Speaking of my mother, she took a break from work and decided to come today. I'm pretty sure she doesn't care who I marry anymore. I mean, I've been there, done that, but I appreciate that she actually decided to come. 

I took another deep breath (that's all I've been doing today) as I took slow paces getting closer and closer to Mike who was by the arch. His eyes were wide and I smiled at his dumbfounded face. 

"Let's just hope one of your ex-lovers don't come back again." my grandmother whispered jokingly as we walked towards the arch.

"I hope so too." I joked in reply.

We reached the arch and Mike grabbed both my hands as my grandmother walked to the seats on the left.

"We have gathered here today in this beautiful beach, to celebrate and witness the marriage of Hally Virginia... Ha! Virginia! Um, I mean Hally Virginia Maloney and Mike Bonner. Hehehe Bon- ehem! Uhhhh...  We come together not to mark the start of a relationship, but to acknowledge a bond that already exists. This ceremony is a public affirmation of that bond that-"

"Okay let's skip to the vows! I can't wait that long til we get to the reception to eat the food! I'm hungry and may I add, that pregnancy is annoying! This baby makes me crave literally anything I see!" I complained.

"Yeah!!! Amen! For once in your life, you said something smart!!! Hallelujah! Speed up this wedding!! Woo!!" my grandma screamed too eagerly. Everyone's heads shot towards her direction.

"Hey! I say smart stuff all the time!" I whined. 

My grandmother laughed at my remark. "Hahahahahaha you've always been a joker, Sweet Pumpkin Schmoopy Doll!" my grandmother laughed hysterically. She knew how much I hated pet names.

"Um okay. Mike, you do your vows first I guess?" the officiant said unsurely, moving on from the previous scenario.

"I, Mike Bonner, take you Hally Virginia Maloney, to be my lawfully wedded wife. I promise to love you and tolerate you from this day forward, in pregnancy and PMS. I promise to not keep score even when I'm winning in Monopoly. I promise to laugh and cry with you as we watch Marley & Me on repeat. I promise to grab your butt even when we're old and wrinkly. And most of all, I promise to remember that neither one of us is perfect, but strive to remind myself of the ways we are perfect for each other. I love you Hally, and I can't wait til we grow old together with our little bub."

I stare intently into his eyes that are full of lust, passion, and another emotion that I can't read. He looks so adorable. Like a little kitten. Meow.

"And Hally, your vows..." the officiant announced.

"I, Hally Maloney, take you Mike Bonner, as my lawfully wedded husband. I promise to tolerate your dirty and annoying innuendos. I promise to pretend I'm interested in your current video game obsessions. I promise that in all our arguments, I will helpfully guide you and remind you that I am always right. I promise to take care of you when we're old, but when you start annoying me and asking me to get that itch on your butt cheek where you can't reach for some unknown reason, I will flush your dentures down the toilet. But in all seriousness, I promise to love you not only for who you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you Mike Bonner and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you." I smiled at him.

"Aww ain't that sweet... That's why I love this job," the officiant began wiping tears from his eyes. "Oh! Anyways,  if any of you has reasons why these two should not be marr-"

"I object!!" a feminine sounding voice shouted.

"AYAYAY!!! Again!! I just want food! And some penguins!! I called it!!! I frickin knew something bad would happen!! I will curse whoever is interrupting this wedding!!" Grandma Penelope screamed.

"Uh oh. Grandma P's curses are the worst." Mike whispered into my ear. We still hadn't turned around yet. We were afraid of who we might see.

"May you charge your laptop overnight without noticing that the chord wasn't plugged into the wall" my grandma cursed. Everyone's mouth dropped. She went there... That was way too far...

"Oh no she didn't..." my mother spoke for the first time in this entire day. I slowly turned around to see this girl who interrupted our wedding, and my eyes widened in shock. Never mind. It was not a girl... Oops? What is he doing here?

"Raymond?!!!" I gasped. The guests gasped. Mike gasped. The officiant gasped. Everyone gasped. (Hehe now it sounds weird. Gasp gasp gasp gasp gasp gasp gasp.)

"Wait you know this guy?!" Mike exclaimed.

"Yeah... But I don't know why he's here." I replied.

"It's because I love you Hally! I loved you ever since I laid my eyes on you." He confessed theatrically.

"WHY THE HELL DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN!!!" I screamed.

"Someone get the popcorn and my stuffed penguin for me to cuddle. This is getting hella entertaining!" My grandma added.

To be continued...

Hello! *waves frantically, looking like a fish out of water* Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Sorry it took a bit long to update because I had a lot of math homework and an assignment. Ewwww Math and assignments! Anyways, like always, please comment some feedback and vote if you liked this chapter. Toodles! So yeah...

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