Paranoid Park (boyxboy)

To Wonderland

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(Mikey's P.O.V.)

Towards the end of the Summer, a girl from school, well our old school, throws one last party. Nick said he just couldn't do it. He said something would just be off, wrong.

  He was right though. The party started off good, but soon it turned into music blasting and people staring off into space.

  We felt too grown. The boys shoulders were suddenly too broad and the girls clothes were too formal. We all noticed the change, this unnamed shift in us.

      When we walk home with Issac, Mark, Sam, and Gabriel, its silent. Nick and Eli don't mutter a word. Andy doesn't even try to be the life of our party. It's clear that he knows exactly why we're like this, like he thinks its about time we've been introduced.

  Its completely silent besides street lights, cars, and other city noises. Our feet sound loud against the pavement.

  This time around there is no sweat forming on us because we aren't acting loud and jumping around, acting fucking stupid. There isn't a wild feeling, just calm.

  Andy is walking ahead of all of us, but as we cross a street, he looks behind at us, kind of smirking knowingly.

  He knows its about time we've been introduced into adulthood.

  →→→

A week before the fall semester, Nick, Eli, and I are due to be brought to the airport.

  So when I'm about to leave my room for the last time, the nostalgia hits me hard. It makes my stomach turn and turn, it makes my head hurt, and my eyes want to water.

  Its all empty and bare except for my mattress against the wall. Its all a memory of a memory. I know this room won't be touched until I come back. I won't be the same person I was when I left here. Its all eerie in a good way. This is a new beginning and an end.

  I leave, shutting the door quietly so all the old memories of me and the people who have been there won't be disturbed.

  Mom, Carson, and I walk out the house and down the hall like going to a funeral, and I suppose we are.

→→→

  We all meet in front of LaGuardia Airport, the sky still a bit dark. Ally, Andy, and Allison have matching looks of despair.

  You can tell Mia has cried already and Michael looks ready to cry too. Nick and Eli look scared, and by the way they smile at me I can tell I look the same way too.

  We all walk in silently. We walk to security silently. Everything looks too bright and too cheery. People are going on vacation and we're leaving permanently.

  Andy's hands shake slightly and his breath sounds a bit labored. He might be panicking a bit, he looks a bit pale too. He's trying to put a pole in his spine and strength in his eyes.

  He tries not to come too close to me as we walk to the terminals.  He doesn't want to look clingy, weak. If I really looked at him, I would have been able to tell that he cried before he came here.

  Gate 34, Nick. Gate 33, Eli. Gate 32, Me.

Gate 0, Andy and the rest of our family.

  Nick and Eli are the first to go. They step off to the side and talk in hushed whispers, Nick's face bent close to Eli's, kissing him every so often.

  No one can look at them, I watch from the corner of my eye, my own throat closing up, threatening tears.

  Nick just hugs me tightly and so does Eli.