If Looks Could Kill (Sideshow Bob Fanfiction)

Chapter Thirty-Five

Author's note:

 Trigger warning plausible. Enjoy!

Chapter 35

Bob sat on his bed, snuggling Caitlyn into his chest protectively. It had taken nearly an hour for Bob to be calmed down after that flash-back he'd had. He'd had another panic attack, and became dangerously close to having a second. He hadn't vomited this time, but he had been unable to breathe and felt terrified all the same.

"I'm so sorry, Caitlyn, darling. I'm so sorry that you had to see that," Bob apologised, snuggling her.

"Oh, Bob! Don't be sorry; it's not your fault! It's okay. We'll find a way to help you," Caitlyn said, burrowing into Bob.

"How so, my darling? Because I truly refuse to go to a professional; it'll just trigger more of these infuriating things. And... " Bob paused, breathing deeply.

"And I'm terrified of the places, if I'm honest," Bob admitted bashfully. Then he added quietly, "They'll say I'm dangerous again."

"Why would they say that you're dangerous?" Caitlyn asked. She thought an hour or so back to the terrifying episode that Bob had; he'd asked repeatedly if he was dangerous... And why people thought he was dangerous. He got so stressed over the question that he'd had another panic attack almost.

"Because I am. Was? I'm an attempted murderer. A nearly twenty times attempted murderer," Bob replied bitterly.

"But you haven't tried to murder anyone in ten or more years! Why would they think???"

"Yes, but it's always there. A criminal record; an IMPRINT. A stamp in big red ink saying, 'DANGEROUS', or 'INSANE'," Bob replied, ashamed.

"Bob, you're not dangerous. You're perfectly sane- you're just going through a really tough time right now. I mean- would they have let you become a Professor at Springfield University if they thought you were dangerous or insane?" Caitlyn asked, trying to rationalise Bob's thoughts.

"I. I suppose not," Bob whispered.

"Look," Bob began, sighing, "You saw what happened- there is absolutely no point in lying to you. I am NOT okay in the slightest. But, I want you to know, darling, that you make me feel okay."

"Aww. You make me feel okay too," Caitlyn replied, blushing.

"It all feels so stupid now," Bob chuckled, "But then it felt so real."

"That's what flashbacks are like. They're terrifying sometimes- other times they're just sad, or they make you angry. But they are real then, even if no one else can see it," Caitlyn said. 

"I thought I'd had them before- but they were just emotional reminisces on vivid memories; this... This was something much more real, and yes, it was terrifying. A little," Bob replied.

"You always say such poetic, beautiful things," Caitlyn giggled.

"How so?" Bob asked, an amused smile on his face.

"Emotional reminisces on vivid memories; it's as if you're writing a poem or novel! You always speak as if you've written every sentence down and planned it in advance," Caitlyn explained.

"Really? Always?" Bob chuckled.

"Well, nearly always."

"I guess my dialect is just rich in heritage and experience," Bob replied, smirking slightly.

"And in big, fancy words," Caitlyn giggled.

"Well you are rich in beauty and happiness," Bob said, tickling her softly on her stomach. Caitlyn laughed, tickled.