Pinky Promise △ Spider Man

[33] I Need You

It was Friday and you still didn't want to go back to school. Ever since you came home from Peter's house, the thought of Peter getting seriously hurt started to get to you.

You remember him telling you that he'll be okay no matter what the situation. But the thought of a bullet...

You were on your couch trying to watch a cartoon, but Peter couldn't leave your mind. Next to you, you then feel your phone buzz. Picking it up, it was another text from Peter.

Peter:  not feeling it today either?

Opening your phone, you quickly typed your response.

(Y/n):  yeah lmao

On the inside, you didn't want to reveal that you just couldn't function. You wanted to get up and do something, but you either didn't know what to do, or if you can't move your butt off of the couch cushion.

You then started to second guess on having a break with Peter. Was it a smart idea to let go of a relationship more than just being best friends? Or was it a bad idea because you still love Peter so much you could never leave his side?

These past couple months have been rough, you wouldn't even lie. You were healing, but it was slow. You knew by the time you'd be okay, you'd think, 'oh wow that was quick!', but the first part of everything always had to take a while.

You needed something to help you get through this. Sure, you have amazing family and friends, but it's like they all give you equal love and support, which you do not complain about. You just needed something more.

You needed Peter.

*Peter's POV*

I was in Spanish class, my last one before I could go home. I couldn't focus on the lesson. Hell, I couldn't focus throughout the whole school day.

I didn't want yesterday to happen. The way it happened with (y/n) finding out my secret was one of the last of ways I wanted it. But maybe it was for the best. (Y/n) now knows and I guess that's a relief on our relationship.

But then again, when I walked in my room, she looked so scared and stunned. That's why I wanted to tell her when I wanted to. Knowing what's going on in her life, because I've been through it myself, this secret should've been the least of her worries.

'But what if you get hurt?'

Those words kept circling my mind on and off. No matter what I tell her, I know (y/n) would freak out over my scratched face and bruised side, even if I do heal quickly because of that spider.

Another thought since yesterday was when she said that all those times that I've saved her, it was me. The one particular time was after she yelled at me and went off walking home alone. I still don't forgive myself after that. (Y/n) almost...

"Tu tarea esta en el libro de texto, página 159." The Spanish teacher then announced, in Spanish. Then on time, the bell rang and that was it for today.

*time skip*

I was laying on my bed, homework sprawled on my sheets. I was doing homework, but I was also so out of it that I didn't care about doing it anymore.

I miss (y/n) that's all. Ever since we agreed to have a break, it actually felt like I don't have her anymore. Damn, I love this girl so much I can't even think straight for a whole day.

In the beginning, it was so great with (y/n). We used to talk a lot during class and fool around. We also would give each other glances when the class was boring or someone said something stupid. Those little things.. I miss a lot.

Yes, (y/n) and I can do those things again, but because of these bad things and secrets that are coming out, (y/n) doesn't smile like she used to.

She used to be so carefree and happy all the time and it radiates onto my emotions. If she smiles, I smile. If she's sad, then I'm worried about her.

But mainly because of Mikey, that fucking bastard, it's like (y/n) lost a part of herself. And I want to be that someone to fill that empty hole that was put inside her. And to my luck, I almost add onto that dark hole because I've kept a damn secret from her.

I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself for letting (y/n) go through what she has. In the back of my head, I know (y/n) forgives me, but who else's fault was it to leave her alone and let her be alone? Me.

I don't deserve (y/n). I don't deserve her at all. All the love and care she shows me isn't worthy for me to take. She deserves better because she's like the better half of me. Sounds super fucking cliché, I know, but it's true. Because of her, I fight crime on the New York streets and I make sure I come home every night so I can see her bright smile in the morning the next day at school.

Because of (y/n) and her strong value for school, I've been taking more time on doing my homework and trying to pay more attention in class.

Because of her, I'm a better me. It's like (Y/n) took a part of herself and gave it to me for me to take. She's so amazing and I'm so grateful I got to be her best friend, to say the least.

For having the opportunity to be her boyfriend and kiss her when I can and protect her from whatever comes, I'm incredibly honored.

Spider Man or Peter Parker, my feelings for (y/n) will always be headstrong and, for a fact, I don't think of them leaving any time soon. She means the world to me and I don't think (y/n) knows that well enough.

I want her to know what she's done to me, what an impact she has put onto my life. I want her to know that she deserves better and that she's going to be okay.

No, I needed her to know.

— ♡ —

This chapter was more thought than talk which I found interesting ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also school is being a drag but thank you guys for reading this book ♡

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[ August 24, 2017 ]