Loving A Deformity

Chapter 20

Alec was glad Denny's helped with making their situation less awkward again. They were able to joke with each other and laugh while they sat at a table together. Once they started eating though, they went quiet. Cera got her red velvet. Alec got his white chocolate pecan. Eventually, Alec had an idea. Half way through their meal, he placed a bite of hit pancake on his fork.
"Uh, hey, Cera!" He smiled, getting her to look up at him from her plate. "Wanna try a bite?" He held the fork out to her. Cera thought about it and took the bite before closing her eyes and letting out a soft moan from the taste.
"That's amazing." She nodded and looked at her plate. Suddenly, she felt guilty since it was his birthday and he was sharing his food. Cera pushed her plate forward. "Here. Try it." She demanded, knowing he would take a bite. Alec eyed her for a second- almost in disbelief- but took his chances and started cutting at the pancake. He took a bite and sat back with a groan, his eyes closed. Cera giggled at him.
"That is delicious." He said. "Thanks."
"No problem." She giggled and started eating again. "We should do this more often." She suggested randomly, not really looking up at him.
"Agreed. This is a lot of fun." Alec grinned before eating more.
"You know," Cera suddenly looked up, excitedly. "They're having a special event next month. Anyone who shows up before seven am get two free pancakes."
"I'll be there at six." He nodded, smiling, happily.
"It's a date." She giggled before freezing. Her smile was gone and her eye wide. Alec looked up at her, questioningly. "I-I mean, not a date but... I'll see you there." She blushed and looked at her plate, ashamed. Alec smirked at her. His heart beat a little faster before he sighed. What is this girl doing to me? He wondered.

They ate, laughed, and joked more. Quickly, Cera got herself to forget about her comment. But that didn't mean Alec forgot it. He liked the idea of going on a date with her... more than he should have. He wanted to forget his feelings. He wanted to pretend he never had his dream about her and move on from the idea of her. But she was just to intriguing now. Curiosity swarmed his mind and made him feel unsteady around her in a way that was almost addictive. He craved to see her and have her look at him in the way she did in his dream. Her laughing at his jokes and smiling at him was enough to get him through, for now. But, eventually, it wasn't going to be enough for him. His feelings for her were already growing and he needed to control himself.

Their waitress came over and gave them their check.
"Here you go!" She smiled.
"Thanks." Cera smiled at the waitress and got her wallet out. The waitress saw her getting ready to pay and was a bit shocked.
"You're not letting your boyfriend pay?" The waitress, about nineteen, asked. Cera smiled at her and blushed.
"He's not my boyfriend and it's his birthday." She said before handing her the money.
"Sorry I said anything." The waitress blushed before walking off to get Cera's change. As awful as Cera felt about it, she was flattered the waitress thought they were together. It was a fifth grade fantasy come true.
"I wonder why she thought you were my boyfriend." Cera said, grinning. She wasn't even looking at him. She looked like a girly teenage girl with a massive crush on someone and Alec found it adorable.
"Well, we would make a good couple." Alec said, looking out the window. Cera looked at him, shocked.
"Huh?"
"I said, 'we are alone together- like a couple.'" He corrected himself. Cera looked away, sighing.
"Oh, yeah." She reluctantly agreed. Suddenly, she got and idea. "You know, It's going to be hard for you to get a girlfriend if everyone is thinking we're together."
"Maybe I don't want one." He shrugged.
"I don't believe that! What about that dream girl?" She grinned, suggestively. Alec paused, feeling a surge of pain. She didn't seem to care at all... if nothing else, she encouraged him looking for someone else. The girl he liked was sitting right across from him, trying to tell him to ask someone else out. She wasn't jealous or bothered. She was completely supportive in him landing a date and it drove him crazy. She had a talent for that- driving him crazy. Since they first met, she drove him mad.
"She doesn't feel the same." He mumbled, folding his hands in his lap, disappointed.
"Have you even asked her how she felt about you?"
"Trust me." He looked up at her, seriously. "She made it clear she's not interested." Cera wanted to argue more but the waitress came up and gave them the change so they went to the beach. On the way, they hardly talked. Cera was starting to feel guilty for pressing him to talk about his love life.
"I'm sorry." She said as they neared the beach. Alec looked at her, confused.
"For what?"
"I... I shouldn't pressure you about the... girlfriend thing." She blushed. "It's not even my business and I have no right to be butting in to-"
"Cera?" He stopped her, knowing she was going to ramble. A small grin was on his face, amused. "It's not your fault. You're just trying to be a good friend. Maybe I'll get a girlfriend someday. But I need to get this girl out of my head first." He let his mind wander away. Cera got curious, again, with his Dream girl.
"She sounds like she drives you crazy." Cera said, unironically. Alec snorted.
"That's for sure. Always has. Frist she wiggles her way into my life and now... I'm afraid I'll have to watch her leave." His voice got sad. Cera couldn't tell who he was talking about. But it was obvious this girl left an impression on him.
"Tell me what you like about her." Cera said.
"Huh?"
"Again, I wanna know what kind of girl stole my best friends heart. After you tell me what you like about her, tell me what you don't like about her. Maybe that'll help you move on faster. If you know all the downsides to her."
"Okay." He sighed. "Well, she's super smart, for starters. Her grades are amazing... she's tough- very strong willed. She's sweet and kind... a great listener... I've said it before but, she's beautiful. Not to mention, she's super funny." He smiled. "I really like how considerate she is. She puts so many other people before herself..." his voice trailed off. He could've went on but, his mind was wandering.
"Well, what don't you like about her?" Cera asked. Alec had to think.
"Well, there's that she's clingy, whines occasionally, can get really loud and overly passionate, she jumps to conclusions and over analyzes everything." He laughed. Cera grinned, feeling he didn't find any of these flaws deal breakers. "But," he suddenly got serious. "She's so... insecure." He said with sad eyes. "Sometimes I wonder if I should get her to see a therapist. She beats herself up so much... She doesn't think she's worth anything... she thinks she's undesirable in every way when, if she just saw that, she'd know she's just the opposite- at least to me." Alec poured his heart out. He didn't even realize he had these feelings. They just fell out all at once in front of Cera for her to pick up the pieces.
"Does she talk about being insecure a lot?"
"No. Usually, it's only brought up because her friends talk about wanting her to date. There was a... situation and now I think she's terrified of being hurt again."
"I can't say I don't understand but... it's you! You wouldn't hurt someone you care about!" Cera smiled.
"I know that and I think she knows that but... she said she was done dating."
"Like me?" Cera raised an eyebrow. Alec didn't look at her at all.
"... yeah, like you." He sighed. I can't tell her... I can't... A sick feeling sat in the pit of his stomach.
"Well..." Cera went to speak but she didn't know what to say. This girl was a lot like her and from the sound of it, was serious about not dating. But Alec was such a good guy. Cera wanted him to be happy. If I found out a guy like him was into me as much as he's into this mystery girl, I just might reconsider... wait... no... what am I thinking? The guy would be better off without me. I couldn't have someone like me. That kind of desire is selfish. But for Alec's girl, it's different. She probably isn't a cripple, like me. She's probably someone who can take care of him. If that's the case, she'll eventually get over her insecurities. "I don't think you should give up." Cera blurted. Alec laughed.
"You're supposed to help me get over her."
"Well, I'm not. I'm officially rooting for you." Cera sat back, pleased with herself. Alec chuckled. If only you knew what you were rooting for, he thought grinning.
"You are officially no help at all." Alec complained.
"Whatever! I'm going to help you." She smiled.
"Cause you know what girls like?" He snorted.
"Exactly- or rather, I like a lot of things girls don't like. Just do for her the opposite of what I would want and you've got her." She winked.
"Actually, she's a lot like you." He blushed.
"Then you already know what she likes! What's wrong with you?" She glared, making him laugh.
"I think she only sees me as a friend."
"If that was your only issue and this girl is as much like me as you are saying, you've got nothing to worry about."
"Seriously?" He glanced at her, slightly encouraged.
"Yeah! Before the Ben drama, I actually wanted to end up dating a friend. Think about it- no awkward introductions with parents, first dates, or that gross honeymoon stage where you act like the person you're with is perfect and can do no wrong..." Cera rolled her eyes. "I mean, you can already be accepted by the parents, dates don't have to be dates- but rather the two of you hanging out, and you already know a lot about each other so I think you're less likely to fight... especially with your friendship providing a foundation of communication, love, and respect for each other. On top of all that, you can know the attraction you have for each other can't just be pure infatuation which means there's a genuine bond between the two of you... I don't know. That's just my take on it." Cera said, blowing his mind. He had no idea she felt that way. That changed a couple things for him. He felt she was right about one thing, his crush was not just infatuation. He felt bonded to her. Alec felt a deep connection with her. As a friend, Alec loved Cera. And he knew, in that way, she felt the same. As for the romantic side of things, he knew he was interested in her and she wouldn't reject him just for being a close friend. The goal now, convinced her to be willing to date.
"W-would you still date a friend?" He asked, carefully. Cera thought.
"I'd be more likely too, honestly. But, I told you, I'm done."
"Still, hypothetically, do you think... maybe... someone could change your mind? Maybe Gabe or... me- or Chris?" He blushed and hoped Cera wouldn't notice it. Cera thought about her answer as she looked out her window to the shore line. She loved the beach. The sun sat behind Cera's vision, making the view clear of the sparkling ocean. The sky was a clear blue and there wasn't a cloud to be seen. It was beautiful. Cera crossed her feet and laid the back of her right hand in her left palm that rested in her lap as she sighed.
"Can I be completely honest?" She asked.
"Sure." Alec agreed, nervously, feeling his stomach twist into little knots.
"No judgment- at all?"
"None from me." He promised with a shake of his head. Cera blushed.
"Out of you three, I'd only date you." She said. It took everything he had not to accidentally slam on the gas or break in relief or shock. He raised his eyebrows and glanced at her, smiling.
"Seriously?!" He asked. She rolled her eyes and glared at him, thinking he was about to make fun of her.
"Oh, shut up! You're the one that asked! And it's not like I said I like you like that or anything!" She groaned and looked to the water again.
"So- wait, you can be convinced to date?"
"It would take a miracle." Cera said. Alec tried to keep from asking more questions but he couldn't help it.
"So... why only me, then?"
"The reason I said 'only you' is because... honestly, you're the one I trust the most. You told me the truth when you knew it would hurt me because you knew I had the right to know. Both Chris and Gabe kept secrets from us. I understand their reasoning but... still. I feel like you'd tell me the truth no matter what and I think that shows you respect me." She shrugged.
"Huh..." He said simply, not knowing what else to say.