Fade To Grey

5

The rest of the service seemed to be nothing more than a monotonous buzz deep in Renee's ears. A blur of well-wishes, and people telling her they were sorry for her loss. The tears in her eyes kept her from distinguishing one person from another so all she could do was nod and thank them.

Really the only portion of the service she'd be able to say anything about if asked was the eulogy, delivered by a solemn Calum. His familiar voice was calming in the ocean of unfamiliarity, and she even found herself smiling at some of the old stories of their childhood Calum retold.

When he stepped down people began to disperse, but not without walking up to the poor crying widow to say their final goodbyes. She was embraced and told to be strong and hold on because "it was going to get better!" by people who were flanked by their own soulmates and had never experienced anything close to what she was feeling.

At last the room was drained to just family and Calum, who pretty much counted as family anyway, so they could go bury Ashton without any needless eyes. Before they left, Anne walked back up to the casket to say a few more words and Renee found herself sitting next to Calum who had taken a seat next to her as soon as it was available.

"You know," he spoke softly, in the hoarse whisper of someone who had only just finished crying. "Green wasn't always his favorite."

Renee frowned and wiped at her eyes as she turned to look at him. His head was bowed down, almost tucked between his knees as he hunched into the pew. "What do you mean?"

"Before he could see green, it was red. Green was only his favorite color once he could see your eyes," Calum half-smiled and looked over. His eyes met her own and it looked like he was trying to decide what green looked like because he had never seen it, and Renee almost started crying again because green was the color they got at their wedding and she hadn't known that that was why green was his favorite.

And so the next few waiting minutes were introspective as Renee wondered what else she never knew about him and grew even more sad at the realization it didn't really matter since she'd never get to find out anyway. Calum looked over at the bows and flower arrangements and himself wondered what the colors looked like and felt rather glad that at least Ashton had got to experience them all before he died because the colors and his soulmate made him happy and happiness is what makes a life full and valuable.

And when the casket was closed and taken back to be loaded into the hearse the funeralgoers again rose and silently filed out to go bury one of their own. This time Renee rode in Calum's car, for nothing more than a change in scenery and the opportunity to have a little bit of breathing room. Renee stared at the grey sky and frowned, as it would never be blue in her sights again.

It wasn't a thought that she dwelled on long because they arrived at the cemetery and more important things demanded her attention.

"Are you okay?" Calum murmured as they climbed out of his car.

And it was a simple question he was asking out of concern for Renee who didn't look like she was stable on her own feet. But Renee felt like it was rather stupid to ask because how could she be okay? She didn't however, have the energy to snap or be angry, so she replied with a wary glance and sharp, "no."

He frowned and offered her an arm to lean on, which she gladly took and allowed him to lead her so that she had one less thing to worry about. The two of them arrived to the open grave after the others who had already lined up around the gaping hole in the Earth. Calum and Renee stood on the side and all heads turned to watch as the pallbearers climbed out of the waiting hearse and lifted Ashton's casket out. It was carried to the open grave and the staff of the graveyard were there to help lower it down.

Once Ashton was safely in the ground Anne Marie passed around flowers, daffodils from the service and everyone took one.

Renee's mother stepped forward first, "Ashton, I thank you for making my daughter so incredibly happy, you were the best son in law a woman could ask for." And she dropped the flower down onto the casket.

Next her father, "for a wonderful young man that was taken too soon. Goodbye Son."

Harry, who had begun crying already, "I'll really miss you Ash, I wish you could've stayed." Was all he managed. He sniffled a little and dropped the flower.

"Goodbye older brother," was all Renee could hear of Lauren's whispered words.

Anne Marie didn't even try to say anything. She stepped forward and tipped her head down for a final view of the coffin and mouthed some words meant just for Ashton before she let go of the stem and her flower joined the others.

It was Calum's turn next and he let go of Renee to walk up to the hole, "Ashton, it was an honor to be your friend. I love you man. One day I hope I'll see you again somehow."

And then all of a sudden it was Renee and her feet moved forward without permission and she stood gaping and looking down at the smooth wooden coffin that held her husband, "Ash. I'm- I'm glad we had as long as we did, and I'd like to thank you for loving me. And, and for letting me see the colors, even if just for a little while." Her voice dropped on the latter half of the sentence and the daffodil fell from her hands into the earth that now cradled her husband.

She stepped back and the workers began to fill in the hole and all she could do was watch and cry because nothing was left. Renee's hands found Anne's and they hugged each other tightly, crying into each other's shoulders as the man they had both held so dear was slowly consumed by the ground.

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Early update bc I'm going to a paaaaartayyyyy

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- c8lin