Fade To Grey

11

Requested by Hads

They made it to Calum's car, and climbed inside. Renee gave up on her jacket, unzipping it completely and leaving it alone. Calum noticed her issue and didn't comment, it really wasn't any of his business.

"Do you want to listen to music?" He asked instead as he turned on the car.

"Sounds good to me," Renee smiled as she pulled the seatbelt around herself. She was woefully behind on popular music, it had been too painful to listen to after he was gone.

"Alright," Calum reached forward and hit the button to turn on the radio. Like Renee expected, it was a song she'd never heard, but the beat was nice and the voice was calming so she listened happily.

"So Calum, what's her name?" Renee grinned like a schoolgirl learning of a crush as she leaned toward Calum.

"My soulmate? Her name's Zoë and she's perfect. Did I mention how pretty she was?" Calum's face melted into a dopey grin as he sunk into memory.

Renee chuckled, "I think it came up." She wasn't bitter though, she was happy for Calum. She could remember being so incredibly in love and making faces just like that with Ashton. Those memories were some of her happiest and Calum deserved to experience them.

"Purple is such a pretty color," he rambled on, "I googled pictures of purple things and they're so wonderful, grapes and flowers and springtime and Zoë. It's my favorite."

"Well Purple is certainly more exciting than grey," Renee agreed, "but I was fond of blue, well more turquoise." She thought wistfully back to the color of the rolling sea, her favorite vacation spot with Ash.

"Turquoise?" Renee looked over and saw a look of pure confusion on Calum's face.

"It's a mix of blue and green, don't worry, I can't see it anymore either," she laughed a little, but it was sad and a hollow sort of sound. She loved turquoise and wanted to see it but it was taken from her.

Calum's face fell and his head whipped around to look at her. He didn't even say anything at first and Renee was worried about him driving into another car.

"Calum the roa-"

"You're losing the colors? I thought-," he gulped and turned back to the road, "I thought that was rare."

"Not in the event of a tragic death, you know that," Renee sighed and looked out the window at the big grey sky and the grey sunshine. In a way it felt like he was being erased. Like she was supposed to leave him behind and start over from her youth. She didn't want to, she just wanted Ashton.

"I'm sorry," Calum choked out, Renee could hear the sorrow in his voice. He was just beginning to understand her loss.

She reached around and patted his shoulder comfortingly, "I just hope you never feel like this," she whispered to him.

The rest of the drive to Red Robin was silent. Calum had wiped away a few quiet tears and Renee was feeling somewhat pensive. All this talk of her past made her dread the future. What would her future be? Living in their house forever? Burying herself in work so she didn't have to feel? Losing the last colors? It was a bleak outlook. She didn't have anything to live for. She was so far passed the point of caring she didn't even cry. Nothing that happened to her really mattered anymore anyway. She looked out the window and toward the stores on the other side of the road. They were mostly grey of course, some had some bright orange sale signs she could still see and they drew her attention. She noticed something strange though, there was no purple to be seen. She searched, looking around at everything, maybe it was just an uncommon color? No, it was gone, she realized as she sat back into her chair. Purple was gone.

Calum pulled into the parking lot and shut off the car. They're weren't too many people there, it was a weeknight and they were eating kind of early, between the lunch and dinner rushes.

"Well lets go then," Renee grinned at him and turned to open the door. She heard Calum do the same as she swung out her legs and took a deep breath.

"Oh no," she gagged. The smell of burgers, the very food she's been craving, disgusted her. She'd never smelled anything so awful.

"Renee?" Calum asked, already halfway through the parking lot, "you coming?"

She shook her head, "no Calum, I can't," she gagged again and had to pinch her nose shut, "I can't stay here. The smell is really bad."

Calum frowned and took a deep breath, "smells like burgers to me, I thought you were craving one."

Renee shrugged, "I was," her voice was comically nasally now, "but not I'm not."

Calum's eyebrows furrowed and he walked back to the car, "okay. I think I know somewhere else we can go that doesn't have any burger smell."

He climbed in the car and Renee got back in the passenger's side. She released her nose and sighed, "I'm sorry Calum, I don't know what it is, something just smelled really bad."

"It's fine," he sent her a comforting smile. Calum was worried though. Renee was acting strangely and he had a hunch that he wasn't sure how to feel about. He did know, however, that Renee was going to be upset with him, especially if he was wrong.

She sat with her arms crossed around herself, subconsciously holding her stomach as he drove, it made him smile a little. She'd be such a good mom, but his smile faltered when he couldn't finish the sentence with and Ashton will be such a good dad. Ashton was gone, but he might've left a little piece of himself here that's been so far ignored because of his rapid decline and death. Renee probably had been so stressed and upset lately she hadn't noticed.

If Calum was right that is, if he was wrong and he made her go in there and take a pregnancy test... she'd never forgive him. He might not forgive himself. Maybe it would be better if he framed the issue differently.

When they pulled into the Urgent Care, Renee's eyes widened and she looked over at Calum in surprise.

"Are you okay?" She checked him for visible injuries but he only smiled gently at her.

"Renee I'm worried about you, why don't we go in there and just get you checked out to make sure everything's okay," he reached out to rest a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm fine Calum," she shook her head, "I don't need a doctor."

"I insist." He was not leaving until she went in there and got checked out. If she wasn't pregnant, it was something else, depression, or anxiety. He just wanted her to feel better.

She looked at him suspiciously and reached to down to unbuckle herself, "I don't feel sick, what do you think is even wrong?" She huffed as she opened her door.

I think you're pregnant, like really pregnant, Calum thought, but didn't say.

"I don't know, sensitivity to smells, losing your colors so quickly, food cravings, just seems like they're worth getting checked out," he smiled at her.

"Alright, I don't think anything's wrong but if it'll make you feel better Cal," she rolled her eyes and pushed herself out of the car.

"I sure hope it will," Calum bit down on his lip and scrambled out to follow her.

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