I remember the first day my family and I arrived in England. We were escorted to the country house of Lady Catherine by horse guard and coach after abandoning ours on the outskirts of London. I was only 10 and untrained in the art of defence when my...
The evening after my husbands bad dream, I awoke in the night to find half of the bed of which we shared was empty, but still a little warm. I reached out my arm and touched the warm sheets, recognising that he must have only just got up and left me to sleep. But my curiosity got the most of me when sounds of grunting and swordplay echoed at my window. My stomach was swollen with the size of my baby beneath my nightgown as I sat up in my bed and placed my hand at the base of my bump. A single candle was still alight in the bedroom and I carried it to the window and placed it on the table in front of it. My eyes were cast out of the glass window to the single figure standing in the darkness of the night air. Then I recognised that it was Fitzwilliam, concerned and sleepless as ever and waving his sword around in practice for our defence.
I had given up watching him after a couple of minutes as my lower back started to ache from being stood still for so long, so I decided to go out and join him. I wrapped my coat around myself and buttoned it up as best I could, although my stomach protruded and so disallowed for half of the buttons to close and so I wrapped a blanket around myself and held it with my under arms, then I slipped on my shoes and began the journey through Rosings mansion to the main and only entrance to the house was guarded all day and night. "My lady, why are you up and about at this hour?" I heard a guard ask me as I went to make my way down the staircase which had been lowered for me. "You should be resting" He concluded.
I gave him a look in the darkness which could have killed him if I possessed such a power. "Come now, sir, you have no idea what it takes to make a baby and the discomfort it causes at night" I told him, dead in his eyes. He held a candle in between our faces. "My husband understands this dilemma" I said and started descending the stairs.
"Allow me to escort you, mrs Darcy" The guard said and extended his arm out for me to hold onto and I began making my way down the staircase in the hope of finding my husband and talking to him. The guard walked me to the beginning of my garden inside Lady Catherine's and I stopped just before the arched hedge where the unofficial entrance was. He turned and looked at me strangely. "Are you okay, mrs Darcy?" He asked me, looking at my stomach concerned, but not my face.
"You can go back to your post now. Thank you" I said to him and patted his back before I blocked out everything his said afterwards and concentrated on finding my husband with the single candle in my hand.
What I saw in front of me was elegant and fluid, but also distraction and anguish. Fitz was hurting and I could see that in the way he moved. His arms were tight and his knuckles were white from gripping his sword so tight. He clearly didn't hear me approaching in my coat and blanket, so I stood there and watched him with the candle burning in front of my face. Suddenly, he stopped swiping at he air with his sword and froze, as though he sensed my presence. I placed my hand beneath my bump and felt my baby kicking me, shifting around inside me. "Fitz" I gently spoke to my troubled husband.
Slowly, he turned and looked at me and I saw his face was plastered with terror and anguish. "Eve. You shouldn't be out here by yourself" Fitz said to me and he approached me at a slow pace, tears brimming at his eyes. His voice was low and husky, more than usual, as though he had been screaming. "It could be dangerous"
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"I'm not in danger when I'm with you, my darling" I said to Fitz with a tender smile on my face. He continued to approach me slowly with the sword in his hand pointing to the ground, as though it were an extension of his arm. Then he stopped right in front of me, but kept his eyes away from mine. "Are your nightmares plaguing you again?" I whispered, not yet touching him although I severely wanted to. Fitz close his eyes momentarily and nodded his head at me. "What was it this time?" I asked, concerned.
Fitz took a moment to calm himself and finally looked into my eyes as he spoke. "You died whilst delivering our child in amongst a hoard of the undead. I couldn't get to you in time" He told me in a quiet voice and placed one hand on the side of my stomach and the other dropped his sword.
I shook my head and put my hand on the side of Fitz' neck, like I usually would to calm him or comfort him. "I'm not going to die in labour, Fitz. You must put those thoughts out of your mind and try to think of the happy times we will have with him" I said with a hopeful smile.
Fitz' face suddenly turned full of light and hope and he gazed from me to the bump. "Him?" He questioned. "You've finally sided with me and think it is a boy?" He said and made us both laugh a bit. Our whole family were torn between a girl or a boy, when I pictured the three of us I saw a boy, but I always felt as though it was a little baby girl growing inside me so I was torn and I didn't answer my husbands question. "Let's get back to bed, my dear. It takes a lot for you to make a baby and I've noticed you're slowing down with some things" Fitz said as he threw his arm around me and started us on the journey back into the house through the only entrance. I had noticed I was slower too. I was a slower walker and planter as well. My energy was barely there and I would be out of breath if I spoke for too long or stood up for a long time.
