loathe. x finn wolfhard

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(this may or may not be a depressing chapter, just a warning sorryyyy dont kill me)

It's been three days and nobody has made contact with me yet. I decided to make a groupchat with everyone and talk it out.

alex : can we talk?

jaeden : cant rn

alissa : its ok, forget about it.

finn : no.

millie : no thnks :)

jack : its best if we dont

sophia : you guys are ass holes. Go ahead, Alex.

alex : thanks. I'm sorry. I really mean it. It wasn't my intention to hurt anyone.

finn : i dont believe it

millie : i second that

wyatt : its best if you just lose contact with us ..

chosen : .. ^^

Did I just lose my bestfriend?

I walk to my bathroom and lock it. I stare at myself in the mirror and bawl my eyes out. It was all I could do.

I point out all the negative things about me, bringing myself down. I wipe my tears and turn the shower on. I step into the shower, the hot water splashing onto my skin.

Even though I'm a empty person, I literally felt empty inside. I continued crying as I showered.

I grab my towel and wrap it around my chest. I look into the mirror and see my red, puffy eyes. I need to feel in control. I need to distract myself from this pain inside.

I grab my leg razor and start to bang it on the side of the counter. The razor pops out and lands on the floor. I carefully pick it up and wash it off. I stare at it, then held out my arm.

I aim it towards my delicate skin. I put pressure as it touched my skin, dragging it across. Blood slowly coming out. I did more cuts until I felt better.

I clean the razor, my arm, and counter since there was blood all over it. I put on a black long sleeve shirt and a pair of black shorts. I finish cleaning up the bathroom and head into my room.

I brush my hair while putting on some black converse. I grab my phone and head outside my house.

I needed to clear my mind from all this negativity. It's going to make me go insane. I pull my phone out and start listening to some music.

*Phora ; Sinners pt 2 playing*

As I was walking, I see a group of kids standing in front of Alissa's house. Getting closer, I realized who they were. I start walking faster so they wouldn't see me but I failed.

"Alex?" I heard a familiar voice call out. It was Alissa. I was too scared to look but I did anyway. I saw her smiling as she started walking up to me. Once she reached me, she gave me a hug.

"I forgive you." she whispered to my ear. I gave her a weak smile, trying to hold back my tears.

"Come join us." she politely said. I shook my head no but she still dragged me to where the rest of the kids were.

Upon arriving, all eyes were on me. I looked down the whole time and didn't say a single word as they continued their conversation.

"Hey, you okay?" I heard someone whisper to me. I look up and see Finn with a concerned look in his face.

That question alone made me emotional. I start slowly backing away before my tears start coming. Finn grabbed my arm which cause me to scream in pain due to my cuts.

Everyone looked at me while I held my arm close to my chest. "You didn't." Finn sighed, you can hear his voice breaking a little.

"I didn't." I replied and walked away.

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