loathe. x finn wolfhard

❤❤❤

Finn and I have been hooking up from time to time but he hasn't asked me out yet. It's fine honestly, as long as he doesn't hook up with someone else ya know. But it would be nice to finally call him mine.

Today I'm going to spend some time with myself. I honestly need it. The negative thoughts haven't stopped. I haven't told anyone because I don't want them to worry about me.

(ummm trigger warning probably so be prepared)

I no longer cut my wrists. I moved down to my thighs. Cutting makes me feel in control, sort of like a big weight is coming off of me. It helps me feel better. Finn hasn't seen me fully naked nor the bottom portion of my body so I'm good for now.

I mostly write my thoughts out so I can clear my mind. I cry myself to sleep when I'm not with Finn. Not because I'm not with him but because ..

Well I'm just not happy with myself. I don't think I'm attractive in any type of way, my personality sucks and I hate myself. Finn shows me otherwise.

I feel happy with him, he makes me feel beautiful. He makes me feel as if though, I matter.

ding.

My phone buzzez as a message has been sent to me. I walk over to my phone and read the message.

Finn : plssssss can i come over imu

alex : fine but nothings gunna happen

Finn : sure ;)

I open my window and slide the ladder down. I wait for Finn to climb through.

I noticed I was in short' shorts so I quickly grab a pair of sweats and change into them.

As I pulled them up, Finn's head pokes through the window.

"Undressing yourself already?" he smirks. "Haha very funny." I say sarcastically.

I walk over to him and place my lips on his. "I'm the luckiest guy alive" he whispers as I pull away from the kiss.

"And why is that?" I ask him, not expecting an actual answer. I start walking back to my bed and lay down.

"Because I have the most beautiful and loving girlfriend." he replies, laying down next to me.

Girlfriend? Is he refering to me?

I sit up and look towards him. "Girlfriend?" I say in confusion.

"Is that not what you are?" he asks, sitting up as well.

My eyes widened a little. I'm his girlfriend. I wanted to scream but I did that on the inside.

"Yes, yes I am." I assure him. He wraps his arm around me and lays his head against my shoulder.

"I love you." he mutters.

"I love you."

*time skip*

I wake up from my 'power nap' but really its just a long nap I take in the middle of the day. Finn was still sleeping.

His phone started buzzing like crazy. I grab it and check the notifications.

instagram : user : wow what a dick move @finnwolfhardofficial

instagram : user : i cnt believe u would do something like this @finnwolfhardofficial

there were more hateful things being said to Finn. On Twitter and Instagram.

I tap on his shoulders to wake him up. He scrunches his nose and slowly opens his eyes. The sight of me made him smile.

"Yes, my love?" he asks in a raspy voice.

I show him his phone and watch his smile turn into a frown.

Turns out his ex got revenge.

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