Gender Fluid? Pansexual?

Runner-up

I'm always the runner-up for shit and sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough because of it.

Today in my choir class we did try-outs for solos. I usually don't try out because I'm socially awkward and I never get them anyways, but my choir teacher told me that she really wanted me to have that part.

So she got my hopes up.

So I tried out. And in the end it was between me and some other girl who got all of the solos last year. And naturally, I was the runner-up once again.

My life is basically an almost. I almost got that solo. I almost got into the most advanced choir, chamber choir, going into this year.

I was the last one under that cut off. I was barely not good enough. Imagine that feeling!

Also, I was really hoping to be in the national Honor society. But, to add to the joys of being me, I had one grade point below the cut off. Like, excuse me?!

God I'm triggered.

Well, that's it. I'm sorry for my inactivity. As per usual. But this book got really popular so I owe this chapter to you.

Question of the chapter: Who else feels like they aren't good enough a lot?

Songs of this week:
"The Willow Maid" I don't know who it's by originally, but I listen to Erutan.

"Sleep o Jesus." It sounds Jesus-y but it's a chant. And I like choral music. Sue me.

"Rescue Me" (by Trap Nation I think.) For you dubstep-ish lovers.

I tried to give a variety.

Love,
Ismauu