Gender Fluid? Pansexual?

The Incident.

WARNING: This story, though it didn't really effect me that much, might trigger some. (It's kinda rape, but no intercourse was involved.)

So there's this thing that happened when I was younger and I was talking about it with my boyfriend the other day I thought it would make a good chapter.  So here I am.

So my sister and I had these friends, a brother and sister.  My sister was friends with the older sister, Kristin, and I was friends with the younger brother.
I think his name was Dylan or something of that sort.

Anyways, this one time we broke into a house on my street that had been abandoned for a while. I think I was around 9 or 10 when this happened. And he was a year younger than me. So 8 or 9.

So we were in the house. Kristin, my sister, Dylan, and I. And it was normal at first. We were just throwing yarn around and shit that the original owner had left there. And then we left.

But when Dylan and I came back the next day it was different. He said that we were "making a club", and that I could only join if I stripped.

I told him I didn't want to, but he was insistent. I remember there was a key we had, it was on the counter. And we discovered it worked on the house. And for some reason it could lock from the inside? Like, he locked me in.

I wanted to go through the back door, but the yard hadn't been cut since forever. And he scared me into thinking there were snakes and I'd die.

So I stayed. And he kept telling me to strip. I kept saying no. So he stripped first. And I remember very vividly.

Then I did, but left my panties on. When I wanted to get dressed he told me I couldn't. But I did anyways. He said in an hour I'd have to strip again and stay that way without my panties.

I can't remember much after that, but I don't think I actually did it. And I cried so he let me out of the house.  I didn't talk to him for a while and I forgot about it. I think I blocked it out, I dunno.

Then, after a while, I was with him in his shed in the backyard. And he said, "hey, do you like to look at naked people." And I wanted to be cool so I said yes. And then he asked if I watched people have sex. And I said no. And then he pulled out his tablet.

And he wouldn't let me leave until I watched porn with him. I can't remember now, but I remember that he somehow blackmailed me into staying.

I didn't talk to him anymore after that.  And I forgot.

Flash forward to when I got older. I can't remember when, but one day I thought back on it and I realised what had happened.

I was so caught off guard, after blocking it out and telling myself it was okay when I was younger. I didn't know any better.

It was so surreal. You always hear about stuff like this and I thought nothing like that has happened to me. And then I realized it did.

It never really bothered me that much, but the fact that it happened felt like an issue.

Just thought I'd talk about it here.
Thanks for listening.
Don't feel sorry for me or anything, I actually don't care that much.

-Isaac