Her Secrets (On Hold)

Chapter Two

       Bellamy

      Signing all of the forms, I pushed them across the desk and rose to leave. Saluting my lieutenant, I left, a huge weight off of my shoulders. Until my phone started ringing.

      "Hey idiot," my sister, Octavia greeted me. "What's up?"

       "Just officially got out of the military. What's going on?"

       "Oh, that's good! Hey, I talked to Clarke and got her to be my maid of honor. This is your chance, Bell."

        "My chace?" I questioned her, knowing exactly what she meant.

        "To win her back and apologize for completely devastating her and leaving her. Which you knew." She answered, irritated.

        "Clarke's probably moved on by now, and I'm certain she's not happy about having to see me."

       "Nope," she said, popping the 'p.' "She's single. I'm driving up to see her Saturday and pick out her dress. You uh, you want to come up with me?"

        Should I? I'm pretty much a billion percent sure Clarke wanted absolutely nothing to do with me.

       But then again, I would get to see her again. Lie and say it's just to get the first sight out of the way?

      "Okay, yeah. I will ride up with you. But I need an excuse since I was defintely not invited."

       "Yeah I'm going to pretend I can't drive because I wasn't feeling well. Of course I'll feel better when I see her and she'll forgive me," Octavia explained. Bad choice but okay.

       "Alright, well I've got to go. I've got to take my stuff to Indra's. I'm crashing in her apartment until I find somewhere to buy. Love you."

       Sitting back at Indra's apartment, my mind wandered back to the day I left Clarke.

       "Clarke, I've been thinking today that the school loans are ridiculous. But I talked to the recruiters in town and they offer so much help with school. If I join, I could have a lot more help with school and I would have money when I got out. More than I make working at the shop."

      Her soft blue eyes dropped at the news. "Wh-what? We said we were in this together Bellamy, I graduated a year early to be with you in college. You just decided this without asking me?"

       "Clarke this is a good thing. You have to understand that joining the military is something good. An honor. I'll get to help out and then come back with a lot of help."

      "Yeah. Yeah.. okay. Uhm, but how much longer do I have with you?" She asked so softly.

       "Three weeks," I answered her, wiping her tears. "But listen, I'm going to be gone for a long time. So, we should make this time special and then.."

       "And then break up?" She sobbed. "You want to break up with me?"

       "No! But I don't want you waiting here for me. I want you to finish school and follow your dreams. Then, when I get back, all I want is you. Okay? Just you. But it would be selfish to ask you to wait for me."

        And three weeks later, I climbed on a bus and cried silently while I watched the love of my life fall to her knees, sobbing. She refused Octavia's hand. She met my eyes just more time as I was leaving, but all I saw was hurt and anger flashing in her blue eyes.

        And now, I was about to drive to her city she went to to escape me and everyone else she knew. Now the guilt was swallowing me alive.