Desperado

Chapter Eleven

Faster, Pussycats! Kill! Kill!

"I accept the charges," I say sitting down at a bench watching the cigarette in my hand slowly burn.

"Katie Cakes."

"Dad."

"How's everything?"

"You already know, don't you?" I code and he chuckles.

"Take good care alright?"

"Hiram... look I-"

"Take care, Katie. I would hate for you to lose the remaining money you have."

I clench my teeth together hearing this. "I'll take care dad. Take care of yourself." I hang up the phone flicking the nearly finished cigarette away from me.

I press my heels into it and turn around. My eyes fall on the figure on the motorcycle. Son of a bitch. "Why the hell are you here?" I ask him.

Forsythe stands walking toward me. "Come. Let's talk."

"Fuck outta here." I snarl my Boston accent coming out sharper than ever.

"Kat please!"

I shove him away from me glaring at him. "I will kill your boy. I have orders, FP. Don't make this town bloodier than it already is. I told you before and I'll say it again. Threaten my family and I can't stop anyone from coming after Jughead."

I walk past him however my arm snags making me stop. I turn seeing FP holding onto my arm seeming pissed. More than he has been with me. And for some reason I'm glad. I'm threatening to dispose of his kid body to never be seen again exactly like I was trained to do. I think anyone around me should be afraid.

"Stop... whatever you're doing stop it now. You're no longer on the north side and you're no longer in New York. I own this area and I doubt anyone would miss you. You're only an informant to your father that's all you'll ever be to him." My eyes widen hearing him say this. My worst fears were realized and used against me. "No one would miss you. Stop threatening my boy or I promise you you will never be found like Jason was."

I yank away stumbling slightly. "I trusted you."

"I trusted you too, Kate. Get the hell out of the South Side or else. And stay the hell away from my boy." He says as my throat feels like it was closing in on itself.

I turn feeling a tear slide down my cheek. I walk away not moving to wipe the tears away. I don't want him to know he hurt me. I don't want him to know that I did this. I can't just turn my back on him but he made his point very clear. No one would ever miss me... not even him.

My heart feels like it's breaking knowing this. He never truly loved me. He only used me for sex and to make me feel vulnerable. I look up after awhile spotting the Pembrooks. I breathe out slowly wiping my face hoping it wasn't poofy from the crying. I shut the door running my hands through my hair.

"Where were you?"

I look over seeing Roni sitting down. "I was at a park why?"

"I think... I think mom may leave dad for Archie dad."

"Why do you say that?"

"I saw mom and him kissing."

"You probably saw wrong."

"I know what I saw, Katie! Why do you always seem so cold ever since dad got taken away that's all you ever been!"

"Because I know EXACTLY what kind of man father was! He's not perfect! He showered us with gifts when he fucked up! I'm sorry your princess mind can't handle the shit he's done."

"So that's why you're cold cause I love our father?"

"Please. Your love for father is the least of my worries." I walk toward the back room when she speaks up again.

"So I guess the rest of your worries is why you've become secretive? I don't know who you are anymore."

I stare at our childhood picture together. Both of us smiling with matching front tooth missing. "You never did," I tell her.

I walk to my room slamming the door shut. I guess that's all I can do... push people away or force their hand in doing so. I'm not perfect and I never will be. Ever since I was thirteen I never expected to perfect.

++++++

"Did you handle it?"

"I did. Thanks because now the deal is rocky."

"That deal was finished awhile ago. Why do you sound upset?"

"Because for three years I've done nothing but be who you wanted me to be."

"You picked it all yourself, Katie. I just made sure you didn't fall into the system."

I clench my phone harder. "I didn't ask for that!"

"That boy didn't ask for you to... you know something, Katie... I don't think you understand my reach."

"You are a piece of shit who ruined my life."

"You ruined your own life sweetheart. Every action you take I'm watching. I know your movements and don't ever forget that. The sooner you figure out to stop blaming others you'll stop your ways."

I feel my anger rise hearing this. "I have done everything in my power to protect you. But fuck you. Rot in that jail cell, Hiram."

"Do what you're told and that's it, Katie Cakes."

I hang up quickly throwing my phone. I hear and see the case smash apart. I stare at the wall wanting nothing more than go and get drunk but the best bar is where FP hangs out. I can't do that. I just can't. I won't go there at all. I grab my pack of cigarettes pulling out my drawer.

At least my mom dumb enough to lose track of her liquor stash. I pluck out the bottle of tequila and lit the cig. I need to be Alice and get lost and high with a blue caterpillar.

++++++

"In that case, Mom, I'm sorry, but no. However you're rationalizing what you're doing with Archie's dad, I don't want any part of it." Roni's voice carries to the kitchen.

I walk toward them seeing my mom picking up a pen. "Whatever you think you're doing... don't."

She jumps looking up seeing me. "Katie. Oh, I thought you had left for school already!"

"I don't see the point in going to that shit show anyway. I was going to stay home. Were you about to forge her signature?"

"Kate... I know that looks wrong bu-"

"Why? Why do you need the signature?"

"I want to give the land to Fred Andrews whose a legitimate businessman more than the one your father is trying to give."

"How many signatures do you need?"

"Three." She says sounding sad.

"How many more did you need?"

"Two."

"You're lying."

"What?"

"You already forged Roni signature. You were about to forge mine."

"How did yo-"

"I can see it from here." I make my way to her doing my own signature myself.

"Why?"

"I think you know why. I'll be at school."

"Wait... Katie?"

I stop at the door grasping the knob. "Yes?"

"I know we haven't been close recently but... I and Roni love you. Your dad loves you, okay? Remember that?"

I turn to my mom forcing a smile to my lips. "I'm incapable of being loved, mom." Her eyes widen and I turn walking out the door leaving her with more sorrow filled words. "I don't deserve it and I'm never worth it."