An Atom Of Life

Untold Memories

“Memories are bullets. Some whiz by and only spook you. Others tear you open and leave you in pieces.”

I sat there, Joey holding me tightly. I don’t remember how much time had passed but I just sat there, images of the past projecting right in front of my eyes. I had missed some details, but they were not concerned with the painful past and she had only asked about the pain. I promised myself to never tell her the whole truth, to never tell her about my time in prison and how I was bailed out by Ashlynn’s sister saying that Ashlynn had forgiven me. I would never tell her about the moments of intimacy shared between us on the night I was bailed out by her. I would never tell her how I had lost faith in love so much that I never ever dated a girl; there were only hell of a lot ‘one night stands’. I would never tell her that how I was rescued by Dr. Lambert, while trying to pick a girl at a bar. How she rescued me from that hell hole and gave my life a reason, but every now and then I would go to a bar and pick up a girl. Even though Dr. Lambert had rescued me, but I was not fully rescued till Joey came into my life. She was my salvation. I was falling for her but I would never tell her, because love only results in heartbreak or worse…

I had slept with hell lot of girls after Ashlynn and before Joey that I had even lost count. Some were like me looking for one night stand but some were the type who got attached easily and they were the hardest to get and hardest to run away from. So with those girls I got out of bed while they were asleep to avoid the cries and attachments.

But it all changed when Joey came. I do remember how I first met her; I was kind of attracted towards her. But something prevented me from making a move. Something inside me saying that this was not the girl you want to have a one night stand with. And then many things happened and when I got to know her, I just couldn’t help but say all those things I said. Later I wondered why I had said them but then I remembered how happy I was to be with her that I understood the reason behind me saying those words. She really brought out the best in me, and those words were the confessions and apology to all the girls whose heart I had broken. I wanted to make my relationship with Joey work.

There were many untold memories I had not told Joey, but if I did tell her then she would be really confused so I chose not to tell those memories. I hadn’t even told her how my friends had found me. It was not what I wanted but according to them it was the right thing and I also knew deep in my heart that they were right.

Six months after the incident, long after I was bailed out by Anne. My friends went to Ashlynn’s house to ask about me, and what they had learnt fully shocked them. And on that day, every secret was revealed and even Anne told the truth and she also told my friends where I was. They found me and told me how they came to find me and I asked them why had they done this for me and the answer was that I would had done the same. And they were right. They told me everything but they missed out one tiny detail, one detail that influenced me greater in my coming life.

Soon after that I started medical school and continued my studies, days passed by but I never forgot how I was betrayed. I never loved a soul after that. My parents were already dead, and they had left me a fortune. I was alone but I never bothered to fall in love ever again.

These were the details I had opted out, and not told Joey. She wanted to know what the purpose behind hating love was and I told her the purpose.

I want to forget these memories but as they say,

“Remembering is easy. It's forgetting that's hard.”