Hellfire • L.A.

Enough

There was no funeral for Perry Hawthorne because there was no body. Instead, a small memorial was held in his honor at the courthouse in his home district. Levi and Erwin had left two days ago to attend, but I wasn't invited.

Even though he was like a father to me and I was a comrade, I was still a criminal, and therefore not allowed to such a high-society event.

On the day of my old commander's memorial, I moved into his office. It was empty of his things: his clothes, pictures, paperwork, etc. Instead it was filled with my clothing and pictures and paperwork.

I stood in the doorway of the room with the last box in my hands. Hanje was busy walking around inside, taking a look around at everything.

"Lux, that man really cared for you." She looks up at me and smiles sadly. A piece of my heart crumbles up a bit and falls off, and I try to ignore the clattering against my chest.

"I'm aware." I sat the box down at the desk and took a seat. The chair creaked slightly under my weight.

Hanji turned around from the bookshelf she was examining. I had already unpacked some books I brought along with me and arranged them alphabetically.

"Commander Erwin and Levi should be arriving back any minute now. I'm sorry you weren't permitted to go along with them."

Sighing, I run my temples and rest my head on my new desk. The thunder rumbles outside and shakes the old castle.

How fitting.

"Hey, Hanje. Tell me something would you?"

"Hm?"

I lift my head from the desk and lean back in the seat, my arms folding across my chest. "How Bad is the bruise on Erwin's chin?"

Her face breaks into a grin, and a huge laugh escapes her. I find myself smiling too, even giggling. Maybe it's just because I'm feeling numb and need something, anything, to actually feel something again, but I let myself succumb to the laughter.

"Not too bad," she says as she wipes away a tear. "Still, he had to create a story on how he got it to explain to everyone today when they asked him."

"Oh God. He's probably letting me mourn before tearing into me about hitting him." I groan and let my head fall back against the cushioned chair.

Hanje shakes her head and goes back to looking at my books. "I really don't think so. He was very calm after everything happened. In fact, he spoke to Levi afterwards just to make sure you were okay."

My ears perk up at the mention of Levi's name.

How could such a small man be capable of grabbing me so swiftly? I know I have to weigh at least a couple of pounds more than him. Honestly, it's a bit comical: the image of Levi carrying me upstairs while I fight against him.

The stranger part, however, were his comforting actions. I haven't known him long, but I've known him long enough to know that he doesn't dwell in emotions. Empathy probably isn't even a word in his vocabulary. Yet, he held onto me. He let me cry into him (probably staining one of his shirts) without hesitation.

I feel myself smiling a little bit at the thought of it all.

"Lux?"

"Hm?" I look back over to Hanje. She's staring at me quizzically.

"What's going on in that head of yours, hm?" She walks up to my desk and props herself up on the edge. I shrug, not willing to admit that I was thinking about Levi.