MISANTHROPIC | pjm. [COMPLETED]

Chapter Eighteen

It was a cold weather. 

But it's not like it mattered. The only thing that changed was how comfortable I was, smoking outside of the building. I sat on a nearby bench and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, getting one, before lighting it. 

It's been a while since I did this again. I wished I stopped going this - but I couldn't find myself to actually stop. People didn't know what I was going through, and this was one of the things that made me relieve my stress. 

If only I could be cleansed. I have committed so many crimes and sins, how else was I going to be forgiven? I killed. I drank. I smoked. I lie. And as I did those, though I had guilt afterwards, I didn't know why I couldn't bring myself to actually stop doing the other things, even though I knew that it was wrong. That I would regret it immediately afterwards. 

Seeing the smoke blend in the with the fog as I leaned on the wall didn't made things better. I turned my head, not wanting to have guilt take in earlier. Minutes passed, and for the first time.. I was uncomfortable being alone. 

Though it was a weekend, the streets didn't have much people. Not much cars passed by. This was supposed to be a busy city, and yet, people weren't out. I sighed and continued to smoke. Maybe a few more minutes until I go back. They'll be suspicious if I was out for too long. 

A man walked pass, and I darted my gaze away from him. I heard his footsteps grow louder, as if he went back. I turned to him, and he took out his earphones. He pointed at the cigarette, "I know it's none of my business, but it's bad for your health, you know." 

My brows furrowed, "Hmm?" 

Nobody's ever walked up to me before. He was so straight-forward, and that made me respect him. He pocketed his phone, "Look; people care for you." 

"I don't think so." I replied, letting out a scoff. "I'm the only one getting attached when I shouldn't. Nobody will have the heart to care for me." 

He didn't seem to be taken back by my response. "That's what I thought before. Doing that kind of thing will not only hurt you, but them too. And I learned that the hard way." none of his expressions or intonations said otherwise. "You can only do so little when it's too late." 

I don't want to be late again.

Though I didn't know him, he seemed so genuine. "Just believe me. Trust me." he said. And with that, he puts on his earphones again, before walking away. And apparently; he was headed inside the apartment, too. 

I sighed, finally bringing myself to throw the cigarette on the ground and stepped on it. I looked up at the cloudy sky, before closing my eyes. I always wanted to be alone because it comforted me. But things slowly started to change. I wanted to be with someone.. because it made me more happy. 

"Maki," Jimin's voice was low, and from the corner of my eye, I see him turning his head, as if to look if there were other people. And there weren't. It was odd, but I didn't mind. I hear his footsteps come closer. He leaned on the wall beside me. "You took too long. I thought something bad happened." 

I scoffed, turning to face him, "No one'll dare come close, trust me." 

"Yes, because of your fierce red hair." he grinned, playing with a strand of hair. "Is there something wrong? Why aren't you going up? Were they being too loud?" 

I shook my head, moving away a bit. "No, it's nothing." unconsciously, we started walking to god knows where. 

"Alright," he shrugged. It looked like he was confused, too, but he didn't mind. It grew silent, but it was a comfortable silence. The air blew past us, making the weather suddenly colder. I mentally cursed for not bringing gloves.